To Fight Fate
by le-petit-chou
Summary: When tragedy strikes, once, twice, countless times, Ruki is convinced that it can't be a coincidence- how many "unfortunate events" can happen to one person? A twist of fate leads her to fight what brought her there in the first place...
1. At the Beginning

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Disclaimer: Why, yes. I do own Digimon. I also own a pink whale, purple elephant and planet Ping-Pong.**

Anyway, my first Digimon fanfiction...hope you like it. Oh- by the way, Ruki's parents are divorced and I am 99.9% certain that it was said in the series when she was sitting on the roof as she thought something along the lines of how Juri had such a bad family life and how her parents were just divorced, when Juri was in the D-Reaper (phew, long sentence there). I know I heard it, and the only reason that I am not 100% certain is because no-one else has seemed to pick up on it...

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It was odd. 

'_Well, you never really know what it's going to feel like until it happens to you.' _An irritated, albeit slightly (just slightly) amused Ruki Makino stood back, admiring the cheap plastic figurine on the kitchen table, mouth set in a frown, to last for all perpetuity. At least, until she threw it into the bin. _'And did they _really _have to make me so discoloured?'_

She had found it in a packet of nearly finished cereal that morning. Just as she was innocently reaching for the nutrition that would, as it said on the packet, give a jolt to her day, out it popped, with a small collectible card next to it.

'Ruki Makino, aged 14, is the Digimon Ice Queen™. Her partner is Renamon [collectable in all cereal boxes]!!! Ruki is well known to be cold and distant from her fans and only her close friends can talk to her properly. Rumour has it that she has a "special" relationship with the Legendary Tamer, Ryo Akiyama, 17.' 

"Ugh!" When would these people learn? There was absolutely nothing going on between her and Ryo, besides insults and the occasional piece of popcorn/paper/heavy rock Ruki would throw at him. They were good friends, it was true, but nothing more. But the media insisted on giving life to so-called facts, and as a result, she couldn't even glance at Ryo without their faces being splashed across the tabloids the next day.

'_You'd think the whole thing would have died down by now.'_

It had begun to abate, a few months after the D-Reaper, but the whole tournament started the craze up again as Ruki and Ryo made it into the finals. Ryo had won that one, but the year after, Ruki had. It was a good feeling, knowing that you had beaten your possibly only equal, but the two had stopped the year after, deciding to keep the media frenzy to the minimum.

"Oh Ruki! That is so cute- don't throw it away! We'll keep it on a shelf as a memento. Your first piece of cereal merchandise!" Of course, her mother reveled in all of the attention- Rumiko didn't understand why her daughter wasn't more like her, didn't enjoy it all.

"Mother- it's a piece of plastic shaped to vaguely resemble me. And look- my skin is green. Green. Do I really look green?"

Rumiko did nothing, but look at her daughter as the latter gave in reluctantly, placing the model on the counter next to her. It still wasn't the ideal mother-daughter relationship, but the two were getting there. Rumiko found that she was getting Ruki to co-operate more with her, as the offers she gave her daughter to model with her were siphoned off, and Ruki found that the more she co-operated, the less her mother asked her to model (something she would do for no-one, not even Renamon). It was a win-win situation.

"By the way, your father wants you around next weekend. He said that you could take the train up to his flat. He'll pick you up at the platform." Rumiko busied herself around the kitchen, picking out various random fruit and nibbling at them. "Also, could you pick up another box of that cereal for me? I've got a full day ahead of me. Thanks, darling. Here's some money- you can spend the change."

She swept out of the room, leaving Ruki standing alone in the kitchen holding a disproportional amount of money for the cereal. She shrugged- it wasn't as if she was complaining. Pocketing the note, she walked out of the house to meet Juri, completely forgetting about breakfast.

"Hey Ruki!" Chirpy Juri greeted her. She was like the anti-Ruki, in every single way possible. There were the obvious things, like the differences in mood. Then there was the fact that Juri had been depressed, back in the D-Reaper days, because of her family problems, and never shown it, compared to Ruki, who had comparatively an easy life, but was bitter. None of this knowledge could really change Ruki drastically, but whenever she was with people, especially Juri, she tried to be less caustic.

"Hey." She greeted Juri and the two set off for town. "Where are we meeting them exactly, again?"

"At the amusement arcade! Don't you listen to us when we arrange these things?"

"Not really, no."

The walk wasn't a long one, and Juri's banter was almost interesting. They reached the arcade on time, and found Jenrya and Takato waiting at the entrance.

"Kazu and Kenta are inside already. Kenta still thinks that he can beat Kazu at- what was it?- Ultimate Street Fighters 3." Jenrya said, as soon as he saw them. His voice was dry, and his mouth was twisted into a half-smile. "Hi Ruki. Hi Juri."

Juri hugged Takato hello, squeezing the boy to death. Ruki looked away. Ever since Juri asked Takato out- it was at an arcade, like this one- she'd had to stop herself from gagging from the Public Displays of Affection that Juri thought necessary to do to prove her affection.

"What're we waiting for? We're all here."

"I can't believe you forgot about me, Pumpkin."

He was feeling exceptionally happy that morning, and it showed. His normally tan, even skin had a brightness about it, his eyes were shining, and he practically strutted down the road.

"Ah yes...what was your name again? Rimo? Geeo? Muriel?"

He laughed, and mocked anger, putting on a bad fake upper-class accent. "I'm called Ryo, not Muriel. Honestly Ruki, it's quite tiresome having one knowing one for four years and not remembering ones name."

"I don't know...Muriel suits you, I think." She responded, pensively, wholly satisfied with her new nickname. "Muriel M. Akiyama."

"What does the M. stand for?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "Wait, no, don't tell me."

"Mooreen." Ruki replied, brusquely.

"It doesn't even _sound_ like Ryo. Really Makino, your comebacks get worse every time. I do believe that you're slacking."

"Well, I can hardly be expected to think up amazing insults for a sub-par person, can I?"

Ryo gasped dramatically and clutched at his heart. "Harsh words, harsh words from such a beautiful lady."

"Damn straight." Ruki spat out, determined to have the last word. "Why are you so happy anyway?"

"I asked this girl, Midori out last night and she said yes." He beamed at the group. "She's so great. You won't believe the things we have in common. Oh- and she's coming out with us tomorrow."

Ruki felt slightly put out by this information, for reasons she could not discern. She snapped, faintly goaded, "What did you expect? Girls fall at your bunioned, diseased feet every day."

"Jealous, Ruki?"

"Oh yes. I'm insanely jealous of some girl I've never met before over a guy named Muriel with feet that look like walruses." She actually did feel happy for him. He deserved to have a nice girlfriend, really, after all. Ryo had had a bad track record when it came to relationships, with girls mostly after his looks and fame (or should she say "looks" and "fame"?). She just hoped that Midori was nice. At least he appeared to be happy. You could practically _see _the sunshine radiating out of his ass. He was the one person who stayed in the deserted Digiworld the longest, and in complete solitude most of the time, she supposed. He would be happy about any relationship. Although it might not be bad to have some solitude once in a while.

'_Mental note: have some quality time with self.'_

"I'm sorry Ryo. I can't come. Juri and I are going to see _'The Love Bug'_." Takato gave him a rueful half-shrug.

"Yeah- it's about this disease where everyone gets bitten by this cute little animated bug, and they fall in love with their soul mate." Juri enthused, lovelorn smile on her face. "You should bring Midori to see it."

"I can't come either. Sorry Ryo." Jenrya apologized. "I have a date with Suzy and "The Munchkins". Dad's going on a business trip so I'm stuck baby-sitting all day. Although I'd love to come with you, and, uh, Nikori, I can't."

"Midori. Midori." Ryo corrected, sounding out the syllables. "Oh, but you don't know what you're missing! She's amazing. She's so understanding, so pretty, so clever, so talented..." Ryo used his fingers to count as he reeled off her numerous lovely traits. Ruki had pretty much lost herself in her thoughts by then, tuning him out, nodding every now and then. Ryo always went on and on about his girlfriends, and nearly always used the same adjectives.

"Are you free tomorrow, Ruki?"

_'I wonder if they still make that yogurt I like?'_

"Ruki! Ruki! Answer me!" He was slightly wounded that she wasn't listening. He valued her opinion, her being the closest friend he had in the group of Tamers. He was also ashamed to admit that he was upset because she didn't seem to react to him having a girlfriend. Not in the jealousy sense, of course. In the she's-funny-when-she-reacts way, which was kind of mean, if you thought about it.

"Yes, ok Akiyama, ok." Ruki replied, exasperated. Why could he never shut up?

"You are?" He looked hopeful, and grinned happily when she replied to the affirmative. "I'll see you guys inside."

Takato and Juri followed him, and Jenrya was about to follow when Ruki grabbed his arm. "Wait. What did I just agree to?"

"A day out with Ryo and Midori, the fledgling lovebirds." Jenrya laughed at her face. "Don't worry. It won't be as bad as you think it will. It'll be close, probably, but not exactly as bad. On the other hand, if you think that Juri and Takato are bad...'cause you know that Ryo attracts _that_ kind of girl. Come to think about it, maybe it'll be worse than you think-"

"Ok, ok, I get it. Thanks Jen." Ruki's voice was sardonic. "You could have warned me."

"What was I supposed to have done? Jump in-between you and Ryo, yelling, _'Don't do it, it's all a trap!'_? You should listen more." Jenrya's tone matched Ruki's as he patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, really. You'll have fun."

"In a third wheel kind of way." Ruki muttered under her breath, too low for Jenrya to hear.

"Anyway, you've gone through a lot worse. If you can handle the D-Reaper, then you handle another of Ryo's endless clone girlfriends." Jenrya pushed her towards the door of the arcade. "Let's watch him beat Kazu at Ultimate Street Fighters 3."

"Yeah; I can see her now. Medium-height-" Ruki said, almost unwilling to let go of the subject.

"Brunette-" Jenrya added, catching on, moving himself so that he could make a picture frame in the air in front of them.

"Sparky-"

"Pretty-"

"Younger than him, always. He is such a paedophile."

"That's horrible, Ruki." Jenrya exclaimed, and Ruki rolled her eyes in response.

"Clever, or, at least, seem to be clever. Most of them turn out to be dumb. I don't know how they hide their intense stupidity at first."

"Yeah, that is true." The two laughed together.

Ruki felt happier now. Jen always made her feel better, being one of the few people she could have a conversation with- her two closest friends being Juri, who always wanted to talk about Takato, and Ryo, who she knew she couldn't talk to on account of the limitless teasing. And she wouldn't want to harm her reputation by stopping that, would she now?

And it really wouldn't be that painful...would it?

Maybe Renamon would have an idea to get her out of this.

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Don't forget- Read, Review, and Respire. Probably respire is the most important, but it would be nice if you did the other two as well. (Cloaked Fox, I'm looking for yooooouuuuuuuuu in particular, and your criticism. I am prepared for the worst, and I think that you'll help me get better at writing these things. I will probably burst out crying in an unhinged author's tantrum, and feel the need to cut off my ear and give it to a loved one to simulate Van Gogh, but do not hesitate to appraise and disapprove to your worst.) 


	2. Midori, Midori

Hello everybody! I feel validated and happy now...good reviews hehe...and from Bunni Girl as well! I love your stories- they're one of the few with grammar. Grammmmmarrrrr...And I was surprised that Cloaked Fox did answer my plea. Pleasantly surprised. Anyway (this is where I clear my throat), here is the second chapter. By the way, this will eventually end upwith **romance** in it. The romance will be very sparse, as although I fully support the pairing, I love the interaction that could go between them as friends, and personally I think that it would take them quite a while to get it together.

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Ryo had, when you thought about it, one type of girlfriend. The gold-digging, shallow type. When they met Ruki, and, upon perceiving her as a threat, they divided into sub-species- treating her in one of two ways; either with effusive, simpering, solidarity, to show that they were UNAFRAID of her and unchallenged, or they used all of their limited means to rid her from the picture. It didn't really matter what they did, Ryo eventually lost interest, and moved on to his next love/victim, but the ones who were nice to Ruki lasted longer. Ryo hated any kind of antagonism, be it covert or upfront, and especially to one of his friends.

Midori was definitely the first of the two options.

_'Jen, why are you not here? I need someone to help me escape from BabbleGirl and Egomaniac. A bolster, a friend, a bodyguard even to shield my eyes and help me see the funny side of this entire thing. Why does Suzy need babysitting? How old is she now? Ten, going on eleven. What kind of ten year old watches "The Munchkins"?'_

"Oh, definitely, I so agree with you, Ruki. School is really boring. Are you in the same year as me? That's so cool! Who are your friends- oh, wait, silly of me to ask. I already know them; you're so famous! Do people come up to you and ask for your autograph all the time? I'd love to be like that. I would love to have a cool digimon too, but I wouldn't like to have fought. Ruki, you were so brave!"

Renamon had not helped her at all. What did she say again? "I don't see how you can get out of it. Ryo is your friend, and you should honour your commitment."

Surely she could have made it up to Ryo in some other way? It wasn't as if this relationship would last.

Ryo gave her a look, as if to say, "Look at her! Isn't she great! Isn't she wonderful! Isn't she making an effort?" like a proud teacher showing off their star pupil. Maybe, for a finale, Midori would juggle and do long multiplication in her head for her.

_'Tadaaaaaaaaaaaa'_

She smirked, silently laughing, almost forgetting where she was, and whom she was with. Then, sadly, she was brought back to reality.

Midori's hand was crawling around Ryo's waist, grabbing on to the dark red material whilst the other hand lay on his knee. Her head was resting on his shoulder, stupidly happy smile on her face, spoiled by a possessive glint in her eyes. He was looking down at her with an infatuated expression, one hand on hers, and one arm around her shoulders.

Ruki felt physically sick. The name "Donny Osmond" came to mind. If they started kissing in public she swore she would puke. Juri was right- she really should listen more. After living with the press on her doorstep for so many years, she was sure that she could have concocted a lie to get her out of this, worthy of the front page of a tabloid. She turned her face to the right, trying to find some sort of escape. It was a good thing that they were in the park. Lots of people to disappear into.

"I'm just going to go to the toilets. I'll be back."

"Ooh- I'll come too! Let me just get my handbag." Midori eagerly grabbed it, kissed Ryo on the cheek, and rushed after Ruki's steadily disappearing back.

_'What? Seriously? Damn it, my escape plan is ruined.'_

She walked quickly, and Midori almost ran alongside her, panting with the effort. Like a puppy, Ruki thought disgustedly. "Wow. You walk fast. That must be why you're so super thin! Like your mum."

"I don't ever want to be like my mother." Ruki replied with a hint of old frost coming back into her voice. It wasn't that she hated what her mother had become, but she hated it when people tried to compare the two very different personalities, and tried to link all of her qualities to Rumiko, disregarding her own feelings. "We are completely different."

Midori recoiled from the asperity in Ruki's voice. "No. No, of course not. I was just saying that you have a nice body, that's all."

Ruki said nothing, just looked at the blushing Midori as she tried to recover from the huge gaff she had made. "I- I mean, not like, in a pervy way, but in a good way. Like," Here she took Ruki's silence as a good thing, and grew in confidence again. "Like my friends would totally kill for your life. It must be so cool!"

"Yeah." Ruki smiled condescendingly down at Midori. "You know, Ryo must be pretty lonely all on his own."

Midori took the hint, and walked away, cheeks red, but glad to be away from Ruki. It was tough to keep up with her, not just in her pace, but her fierce intellect. Ryo was clever too, but he received her comments well, whilst made her feel more obtuse than she knew she was. Not to mention she had that poise and self-confidence, bordering on arrogance, that made a girl like Midori want to go and bang her head against the toilets, hard, and repeatedly.

Ruki almost felt sorry for the girl. She was just trying to fit in with her, make friends. She would call her back and be nicer, but that wasn't the kind of thing she'd do. Besides, Midori would be gone in a month, and some other girl would take her place. What was the point in getting to know her? She was about to walk forwards, when she realized that she had reached the road beside the park. A car drove past her quickly, and she recoiled at once.

_'Whoa...almost got yourself killed there Ruki.'_

A beeping noise came from her phone (Ruki was not really someone who used polyphonic, or fancy ringtones); her mother had given it to her a couple of months ago when she herself had gotten a newer model.

She took it out of her pocket, and was going to answer it when someone crashed into her from behind and knocked it into the road. She looked behind her and saw a small boy on rollerblades.

"Sorry!"

"Sorry nothing." She muttered, and leant forwards to pick up the still beeping phone. Her hand almost touched it, when another car came roaring past, crushing her mobile, but thanks to her quick reflexes, not her hand.

She swore, and looked at the remains of her phone on the road. Looking both ways to make sure no cars were going past, she tentatively moved towards it again, to try to remove the debris from the vulnerable position it was in. Of all the things Ruki hated (and there was a lot Ruki hated), it was vulnerability. Plus she felt bad about leaving it there, all alone. She was very aware that it was just a small, inanimate object, but the very thought of leaving something connected with her in such a wholly defenceless situation made her feel uncomfortable.

Then, another car zoomed past.

"Why is the world trying to kill me today?" Ruki jumped backwards. "O.k. I am going to leave that there on the road now."

She slowly backed off from the roadside, and was turning to go when a car crashed onto the pavement, where she had been standing just seconds ago. The woman inside leapt out, and inspected her car, looking for dents. It was about a minute before she remembered Ruki.

"Oh. Yeah. Are you alright?"

Ruki nodded, and raised her eyebrow. The shock had worn off quickly, and she was back to her usual composed self.

_'It's at times like these you know where you stand in life.'_

"Hey, are you Ruki Makino? My daughter has your figurine!"

Normally, she wasn't a superstitious, or frightened person. This time, despite that, she decided that it _might_ be a good idea to get away from the road and return to Ryo and Midori. Probably best not to tell them about her frequent brushes with death. Midori would just start spouting sympathy and fake concern, and Ryo would either be too wrapped up in Midori to understand properly, or start teasing her about her fragility.

She began to walk back to the couple, sub-consciously even faster than before, still a little uncomfortable with what had happened a couple of minutes ago.

_'This is not my day. This is really not my day. How did it start so quickly?'_

The rain was pouring down heavily on her, soaking her through. She held her hands out, palms to the heavens, irritated look on her face. The sun had virtually disappeared, and dark clouds hovered above her. What was it with the world today? Her hair had gone completely limp, and water was beginning to collect in her shoes. She shook her hands off, and pushed stray strands of hair out of her eyes, certain in the knowledge that she looked like a drowned rat.

_'They left without me? Oh, yeah. I forgot. Midori wouldn't want to get wet.'_

"Ruki? Care for an umbrella, perhaps? Or would you prefer to stay like that?"

She tuned around, and caught his only means of defence against the rain expertly. "Where's Midori?"

"What- no thanks for my gallantry? I'm offended." Ryo teased, smiling, showing a set of perfect white teeth. Stupid Ryo. Trust him to come prepared. Not that it was any use to him, since he was soaking wet now.

"Whatever." Ruki rolled her eyes in feigned indifference. "You're getting drenched. Don't you care?"

"I've been told I look good when I'm wet." He smoothed back his hair, pouted, and raised his eyebrows, imitating one of Rumiko's more famous poses. "As for Midori, well, I dropped her off in a café nearby. I just came back for you in case you got all huffy with me 'cause we left you."

"Idiot." She laughed at his "sexy" pout. She beckoned to him, "Come under here, before you catch pneumonia, and die a slow and painful death. Which even you don't deserve. Before you say anything, you don't look good when you're wet, so there is no point in staying away from the umbrella. Who told you that?"

"Midori." He preened himself again, and looked smug. "And Aimi, and Reina, and Aneko. And I was voted as one of the sexiest teens in the country by several magazines."

_'How terribly surprising that was.'_

"Magazines bought by pre-pubescent, delusional, fan-girls. And your girlfriends were just trying to humour you." Ruki stated briskly, and quickly. "Speaking of girlfriends, I won't be going to the café. I need to go pick up some cereal- I forgot yesterday. Coming?"

He shook his head. "I'll go over to the café to find Midori again. What did you think of her? Isn't she great?" His expression softened slightly, and that horrible vacant look took over, dispensing very efficiently of any of the acumen he may have had before.

"Yeah...she's nice." Ruki keep her expression carefully nonchalant as she lied through her teeth. She hated being duplicitous (actually, that sounded a little harsh. Economical with the truth, she would call it) with Ryo, but she couldn't be bothered to go through a huge argument with him at that moment. He could be very defensive of those girls when he wanted to be. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Bye Ruki!" Ryo flashed another smile at her, and waved. He thought that Ruki looked good, even when she was sodden. He had had a crush on her when he first met her; partly because of her attitude, and, partly, he was sorry to say, because of her looks. She was extremely pretty; having a supermodel for a mother must have helped somewhat. The crush faded away, as all crushes do, after a while, and now he noticed her prettiness in a purely platonic way. He had faint twinges every now and then, but he supposed that you would always have a soft spot for your earlier would-be-beau. He added, as an afterthought, "You can give me back my umbrella tomorrow!"

Ruki herself walked towards the local supermarket in search of the cereal. She didn't really need to do so- her mother wouldn't get upset if she didn't, but Ruki just felt like the walk. She sauntered along slowly. She liked the rain, unlike most people. Just because it seemed disagreeable and off-putting to them, didn't mean that it didn't do any good in the world.

She walked slowly, enjoying her solitude. She relished the quietness, with just the sound of the rain dropping heavily down onto the ground. It gave her time to think, and to not think.

_'Wow. That was philosophical.'_

Maybe Jenrya was rubbing off on her.

A crash of thunder brought her senses back. She flinched, being lost in the depths of her mind. Shrugging, she continued walking, at the same pace as before.

A bolt of lightning struck a tree on her side, and again, it was only her quick reflexes that saved her. She heard the cracking, and hurled herself forwards, falling, and grazing her elbows. As she fell, Ryo's umbrella fell out of her grasp, and was carried away by a strong wind. She started to lunge ahead to get it, but some broken glass was lying just in front of her, and she stopped herself just in time.

"Alright, this is just abnormal. How many near death experiences have I had in the past half an hour?" Ruki talked out loud, grimacing as she inspected the small scratches on her elbows. 

She hoisted herself up, and started running to the nearest shelter, an empty bus stop. Forget the cereal. She needed to get home.

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I found an error in what I put here last week- read, review and respire. Respire is the most important, but if you've made it this far, I'm going to assume that you've done the reading part of it. Ergo, you've only got to review now! I admit it, I enjoy reading the reviews. They give me a warm,fuzzy feeling when they're good, and a burning desire to get better when they're bad. 


	3. Letting Go

Hello everyone! I've thought long and hard about this chapter- this is a kind of bridge, if you will, in-between one leg of the story to the other. In response to all my wonderful readers, well, thanks, really. For reading, and reviewing! In particular, the anonymous reviewer. Thank you for your points. I already knew that Jenrya's sister was called Shuichon and not Suzy in the original version, but when I was writing the first chapter I completely forgot. I realized when I was writing the second chapter ages ago, but I was hoping that there would be no such sharp-eyed reviewer amongst my throng. Oh well- I hope you'll bear with me if I continue to refer to her as Suzy, for continuities sake. And Ruki's dad won't play a big role, don't you fret. He won't abuse Ruki or anything- in fact, think of him as a plot device. To everyone else (Bunni Girl (by the way, check out the link in my favourite stories section for my favourite Ryuki story, people), kairi kingdom, LittleHikari542, and GT Kari-123), thank you, thank you.

One more note- one song that I felt applied to this chapter is "Overdue" by The Get Up Kids. I won't write out the lyrics here, mainly because it's a bit pointless if you haven't heard the song, but I will quote one line:

"Went on a limb for you...my only hope is letting go"

It's a truly great song, I think, and encapsulates the kind of feel I want for this part of the story- a kind of quiet, understated, clever kind of dialogue.

Oh, and by the way, it is exactly six days until Yours Truly has her birthday! Woohooo!!!

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"Nope. Nippy, nada. No. Nein. Non. Not in sixteen-hundred years. Not over my dead body. Absolutely negative." 

Ryo looked at his dad with pleading eyes. Negotiations with him had hit an all-time low, as the aforementioned _papa_ busied himself with the TV remote. This was not the face of a man carefully mulling over his son's future. No. It was the look of a man desperately wanting to watch the news, and hoping that his offspring would disappear into thin air so he could watch and moan about the inflation in the country.

He stood there, staring at his father, waiting for the fun-destroying ogre to speak.

'_This must be how UN negotiators must feel like before bombs start being lobbed.'_

"Look, Ryo. There is absolutely no way I'm going to let you and your little posse of herberts go to your new girlfriend's house for a party." As he said the word 'party', Mr. Akiyama screwed his nose up, and shook his head in a horrible disdainful way, shrugging woefully, as if the entire weight of the world and the moral hygiene of its teenagers rested with him. "It is just not responsible father behaviour, son. Why don't you go out with those nice digimon friends of yours? You are not going anyway. Nicky nacky nada way."

"Please?" Ryo had run out of pointers and arguments, and was reduced to begging.

"Not in my lifetime, bud." His face softened for a moment, obviously guilty, before he said, "Why don't I bring you and your friends to Walrus World in South Shinjuku? Remember when I used to bring you? You used to love them! Especially the one that could juggle balls"

His voice faded to a well-meaning whisper, clearly supposed to be full of father-son love.

And with that, his dad turned and watched TV, satisfied that he had won the argument, hands down.

Ryo trudged out of his house and went to the park, a little bit sulky. He plunked himself down on a bench, and crossed his arms, sighing to himself. He had just wasted a whole 20 minutes arguing with a man whose idea of fun was watching giant grey animals eat smaller grey fish.

"Why are you in such a bad mood? Have you finally realized how hideously ugly you are?"

Ryo looked up and saw a familiar redheaded girl smirking down at him.

"No. My dad won't let me go to Midori's party with the guys. And I think that he thought, that by dressing up the word "no" in cute and amusing ways, he would win me over."

Ruki sat down next to Ryo and laughed. "What- no smart-ass comeback? Come on, it can't be that bad."

"He wants me to bring all of the Tamers to Walrus World."

Ruki laughed again, harder, at the despondent look on the usually cheerful boy's face. Ryo was always funny when he was upset, and being able to snicker at him was a rare pleasure, for anyone. Well, it was a rare thing to be able to do, but needless to say, only Ruki found pleasure in it.

"I was definitely someone like Vlad the Impaler in a past life, because I'm paying for it now."

"Hey; at least you haven't been chased by ravenous wolves all week." Ruki scrunched up her face, and held out her arm, which had some faint bite marks.

"What happened to you?" Ryo grabbed her arm, and inspected it, before giving his diagnosis, and let it drop to the bench. "It doesn't look that serious though."

"No, it's not. But I was just walking along this lane, and a dog came at me! The woman couldn't keep it under control- it just went totally feral. Luckily I know how to handle myself in that kind of situation, thanks to Jenrya. The thing is, all these animals seem to be turning against me. I can't understand it."

"Bad week then?"

Ruki's left eyebrow shot up at that statement. "You could say that."

The truth was, she'd been dodging "incidents" like it ever since the date with Midori. They'd been coming at her so fast and thick that she didn't really know what to think. It was as if someone in heaven (or hell) was targeting her. And she wasn't even religious.

It wasn't just the animals. It just seemed like wherever she went, weird things started to happen. When she went with her mother to a photo shoot (just to keep her company- besides, she had nothing else to do) the day before yesterday, a light she'd been standing next to burst into flames and fell on the ground, making Ruki run to the walls, trapped by the flames, whilst the photographer desperately try to put it out. Happily, the fire was extinguished before it could do Ruki any harm. But it still worried her a little. How often does a light, a dim light, as well, do that?

She shook her head and returned to reality, turning to look at the ever so slightly depressed Legendary Tamer. "You know, you could just go, and lie to your dad. I lie to my mum all the time. Say you're going out with us, or something."

He returned her gaze and smiled regretfully, "I already told him which day it was. He'll know."

In fact, as she was walking home one night, she'd been the target of one drunken man, with a broken bottle in his hands, a mugger, and had been at the scene of an armed robbery. She'd gotten so freaked out by it, she'd called Renamon to bring her home. The rate that things were going, she'd been surprised that her mother and grandmother hadn't been turned into small bite-sized _goujons_ on the kitchen floor, no doubt destroyed by the bad luck that seemed to be following her around. Instead, her mother had been fussing about her and her wetness, whilst Seiko was peacefully using a pair of mini-secateurs to trim an unruly bonsai tree.

"You fool, you."

"I know."

The pair sat in silence for a moment, each harbouring their own worries, one's ever so slightly more important than the other's.

"Hey, Ruki?"

The girl beside him made a small 'hmm' sound, not bothering to look at him, preferring instead to look at her hands.

"Can I have my umbrella back?"

'_Oops.'_

What could she say?

'_Well, Ryo, after you left me, I had to dodge a falling tree, and I let go of your umbrella, only to lunge for it and find broken glass in front of me. After that, I got Renamon to bring her home. The next day, I went back to the park to see if I could find it, but all I did find of it was a charred mess on the floor, with part of the frame still left there. The frame then was carried by the wind, seemingly aiming for my eyes.'_

Wow. Believable. She sighed inwardly, preparing a lie to tell him.

Ryo sat for a moment, surveying his companion. She'd gone into a sort of trance. "Ruki? Ruki? Ruuuuki?"

"It's drying out in my house. You don't want to take it back yet."

He shrugged. "As long as I get it back eventually. Wouldn't want you to turn into a kleptomaniac, would we?" He smirked, regaining some of his original spark.

"I'm not the one who thought that it would be a good idea to steal counting blocks from his nursery class."

"I'll have you know that it was a carefully executed scientific test, designed to test the teacher and see how...um..efficient the school security system was."

"Not even you are perfect enough to hold that kind of intelligence at the age of, what- 3?" Despite saying this, she could picture a mini Ryo, already outshining everyone else. Always clever, always cheerful, always determined, always heroic, always handsome, always perfect. Of all the Tamers, Ryo was the most lusted after, because of his looks. Kind of pretty-clean-cut-guy-meets-modern-Indiana-Jones. She was sure that across the world, thousands of girls had tapes on which the near-naked Ryo starred, during the D-Reaper incident.

"No, I wasn't. I forgot to include the dependant variables."

"Uh-huh."

He looked at her curiously. "Are you alright? You're not asâ€sarky as usual."

She glanced back up at him, eyes mocking. "I could say the same of you, you know."

The two returned to an uncomfortable silence. Ryo was worried. He could usually detect Ruki's subtle micro-moods, which were practically invisible to the rest of the world. Ruki was good at covering up feelings, but he'd (finally) learnt how to read her somewhat. And she was often pissed, he found. Very often. And it would fade away eventually, somewhat slower than how it began. Still, he had a kind of worried feeling at the back of his head. He pushed it back, and scolded himself for being paranoid.

Ruki was fine. She was. Except...except for this small nagging feeling at the back of her head. She had to admit it. She was worried. It was getting far beyond weird, and she had to get to the bottom of it. She didn't know how, and she didn't know if she even wanted to know. But she had to- bad things were happening, and Ruki Makino would find out, and be in control again. She glanced at her watch. Time to go to the train station.

Ryo watched as one of his best friends stood up and walked away, head down, eyes glazed, eyebrows knitted. He reached out, and opened his mouth to shout to her. He hesitated, and let his arm drop to his side. With Ruki, it was better to let it go.

* * *

Hm...well, I hope you like this chapter, and I also hope that, if you listened to the song, you liked it. 

Anyway, read and review!


	4. Stuff Happens

Hey everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been updating at all recently- blame it on school and coursework and refusal to pull myself away from the GodBox where babies like One Tree Hill and the X Factor are born. Anyway, here is the next chapter!

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Ryo was bored. He had nothing, absolutely nothing to do. All his friends had gone out on some school trip (cool, real cool), and all the Tamers were either doing "homework" (i.e. a date for Juri and Takato, meditation for Jenrya, and he didn't really want to ask Kazu or Kenta), or had gone up north to meet their father. 

Ruki sighed impatiently, blowing her fringe upwards with her breath. Her father had rung a couple of minutes earlier, saying that he would be late to pick her up- something about the traffic. It wasn't anything major- her mum was always late, and she was used to waiting, but she was tired from the journey- and she had left Renamon behind, in Shinjuku- her dad felt slightly nervous with a fully grown, lethal digimon in his house- not that Renamon was a threat, but then, Ruki could understand her dad's point of view.

Her mind wandered, to school, to digimon, to friends. Ryo, in particular. She had never been able to label him properly, in her mind. She didn't know, at first, whether she hated him, or if she liked him. Then they'd settled into a kind of purgatory, where they teased each other, like brother and sister. Or sister and brother. She knew that Ryo felt that they were close, and they were, but she wished sometimes, that they could have the same kind of talk that she and Jenrya had. She knew that Ryo had the same kind of views as her, that he could provide her with an intellectual challenge that she was in need of. But, to tell the truth, she had no idea about how to introduce that to their relationship. They were so similar, and it would be great to see what he thought about things, about concepts.

Ryo himself was still in his room, thinking about doing something...he just didn't know yet. He'd actually been hoping that Midori would cancel her party, or reschedule it, but he guessed that it was a stupid thing to wish for. It would be better if, say Ruki, or Jenrya, were there, so he could joke and laugh, and talk with them, but, nope. He was alone. It was a new experience for the famous boy, and he wasn't sure that he liked it. Ruki loved solitude- he knew she did. But after spending so long abandoned in the digital world, he had lost all of his value for it. He was a very social person, really.

She got off of the bench, deciding that she should walk up the deserted stairs, away from the even more deserted, and desecrated station platform. As she stood up, she felt the urge to jump off of the platform onto the train tracks. She walked slowly towards the edge, quietly, and surveyed the tracks. It was like an irresistible itch, like in a dream, and things went all hazy, and she felt dizzy, and she wanted, really, really wanted to throw herself off of it....

She snapped back to her senses, breathing heavily.

'_What the hell? What just happened there? I am going crazy, seriously crazy.'_

Her mind was racing, and for the first time ever, she was scared. Ruki Makino was scared. She wasn't scared of the D-Reaper, she wasn't scared of the unknown, she wasn't scared of pain, really. What she was scared of, was herself. And what she made herself almost do, and how out of control she was then. How out of control everything was. She was self-destructing.

She was by no means an emotional person, but at that moment, she felt like she couldn't function. Everything was blurry, and she couldn't make out anything. She fell backwards as the next train came roaring into the station. She gasped. It was at that precise moment in time she realised how close she had been to death. And it would have been all her fault.

Ryo got up off of his bed, and paced around his room. He felt trapped, like- well, he would say a caged bird, but that would have been too much of a cliché for him. He stared at a picture of the Tamers, and he thought, with a slight bit of irony, that they didn't know anything about him. All they did was tease and jibe, and, although he wasn't complaining, he really wanted a proper _best friend_. He'd love a friendship like Ruki and Jenrya had- like an unspeakable, unshakeable, unbreakable bond.

_'Ease up on the melodrama there, Akiyama'_

It was one of Ruki's greatest strengths, he thought, that she was able to snap him out of his little self-pitying moods, whenever. It wasn't very often, but he knew that he'd felt better earlier when Ruki had been there, talking to him, forcing him literally to stop his moping.

Sometimes he wished that he could be persecuted and abused, kind of. Just so that he could grin and bear it, like a "brave soldier", and be perfect and martyr-esque. It would give him a reason for any erratic behaviour, and he wouldn't have to be so patient with everyone. All he had was one dead mother (he'd never actually met her- she'd died before his memory started to develop, so it wasn't really a tragedy), and a couple of long gone pets.

_'O Fluffy, o Swimmy, o Mad Dog, why won't you come back to me? I weep for thee.'_

It just didn't sound the same.

_'Why am I moaning? I have a perfect existence. I shouldn't want anything to change. But still...'_

He couldn't stop wanting excitement, wanting something to happen, so that he could satisfy his craving, lusting for adrenaline.

Ruki wiped the sweat off of her brow, and ran up the stairs. Screw waiting for her dad. She had to get away from the train tracks, as soon as possible. She pushed past people, not caring what they thought.

'_Hey God. This is Ryo Akiyama. I don't know much about you; I don't even know if you exist. Anyway, all I'm asking for is a little excitement, to ease the boredom. I just want something to _happen

Ruki felt something sharp pierce her stomach. She drew away from a man, and found blood seeping through her coat. She shook her hand off, and swore loudly, wiping it off on herself. It had almost killed her. Just one inch deeper...

_'Really. I want something to happen- just like the D-Reaper. So that I can have something to do again.'_

She started sprinting again, painfully aware of the gash in her side. She'd have to go to the pharmacists and get a bandage. Running, she slipped on the floor, and came face to face with a broken bottle. She almost laughed- the ways in which the universe was trying to kill her was getting repetitive.

_'Please. Something? Anything.'_

She stood up, slowly, and lifted her head.

_'Please?'_

And looked straight into the barrel of a gun.

_'Pleeeeeaaaassseee?'_

She was hyperventilating, but she didn't know it. All she could see was the black, eternal black of the gun. All that time she didn't know what she was afraid of. She didn't think that she was really afraid of anything. Now she knew; she was afraid of death.

_'Please...I mean, seriously, anything. I'm desperate.'_

The man holding it was shouting something, but she couldn't hear. All she could think of was what she had to live for, and how much she didn't want to die.

She could feel her mouth moving, and it sounded placating. She just didn't know what she was saying.

_'I really mean it. I will be so grateful to you.'_

She narrowed her eyes. She needed to get that gun away from the mad man. She just didn't know how.

"Renamon..." Ruki whispered, fingernails digging deep into her palms. She was going to jump for the gun, duck it.

Bad decision.

She was so cool under pressure. Why'd she have to pick that time, of all times, to lose it? Coincidence. If you like.

'_Well, thanks, Lord God. If that's what I'm supposed to call you. I'm not sure. Not sure really how to bargain with God.'_

She jumped for the gun.

He shot her, straight in the chest.

She went straight up, and found herself again, exactly the same, but see-through.

_'Amen.'_

"What the hell?" Ruki screeched, as she stared in disbelief at herself.

_'Oh- and one last thing. Please, next time, let me go to Midori's party, when she has another one. And let Ruki have fun too. She needs to unwind a bit, I think, at the moment. I don't know why; she seems a tad tense.'_

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:D So, read, respire and review! I'm a bit worried that the story has gotten a tad too heavy, but...oh well. I'll lighten up next chapter, I promise! 


	5. Come Back for Me

Hello everyone! It's the update that I have been working so hard to finish, and you have been so patiently been waiting for (I hope you have, anyway).

I forgot to say thanks to all the reviewers of chapter three, so I'll include all of the rowdy lot here :).

Thanks, as always, to **Bunni Girl**, who, as we all know, is a very talented author herself (check out her fics, everyone). One Tree Hills ROCKS by the way, hehehe. Mouth rules! I hope that series two shows on E4, though, or I will have to die, or else emigrate to America (One Tree Hill is on at 9:00-10:00 on E4 every Wednesday- watch it people!). Ha! Shameless propaganda here, this is.

To **Lavos**, thanks! Also, I hope that Ryo's story came through a bit in chapter four. It'll all intertwine; just you wait (!).

**Violet eyes rika**, thanks for saying that my story is smooth. I'd hate it if it were all jarred and mechanical...ugh. Anyway, your comment is duly noted. I don't usually like to indent paragraphs (blame it on my schooling), so I must continue in my un-indented-ness, but I did indent this little paragraph for you :)

**LittleHikari**, thank you too. Hopefully, some of the loose ends are cleared up here- not all, but some. :)

Thanks to **Ao-Senshi**, who also writes great stories- "It Figures" is one of those rarities- one where Ruki and Ryo are shown at their comedic best.

To **Black**, thanks. It's always a good thing to know that people (intelligent people, nonetheless) notice poor ol' Juri. At least in a Ruki/Ryo story. Thanks for the welcome, as well. I feel loved.

And last, but certainly not least, to **Malka**. Sorry about the false alarm- I worked double-time so that I could put this up for you. On the bright side, I did have more time to work over in my mind the plot, and the various little clues I set along the way. You did hit the nail on the head when you said to try harder. I have to admit, I haven't really been working at full capacity lately. Could you perhaps point out to me something to improve? Thanks- always like to improve.

* * *

Ruki looked around the barren landscape. All was grey, all was dull. There was a sense of nonentity, that she didn't matter, that nothing mattered. Nothing at all. 

"Where the hell am I?" She breathed softly, taking in her surroundings. "Where the hell am I?"

"This is purgatory. If you are not careful, however, you will find yourself in that place you like mention so much."

She turned around, instantly on her guard, hackles raised. "Who are you?"

"I am here to welcome those who come into this world, to ensure that their safety and happiness is present as they enter the afterlife."

The figure emerged from the fog, slowly, taking small, regular steps. Ruki clenched her palms, sweaty, and breathing deeply, trying hard not to let her fear show. If she had one priority, it was to at least appear to be unconcerned.

'_Oh yes. Yes, this happens all the time. It's nothing, really.'_

She had never thought it possible that people actually gasped when they were surprised. She'd always thought that it was merely an expression authors used when they had run out of other clichés to copy. Least of all had she expected herself to do it.

She gasped.

The laws of reflection are simple. Light rays bounce off of a surface, and the light reaches our eyes, so we can see. When we are looking at a smooth surface, we can see ourselves staring back. It could be water, it could be a mirror. We all know that these reflections aren't real though. We cannot touch them without destroying them, and condemning them forever to purgatory.

Ruki didn't know what was real anymore. All she knew was that she wasn't looking into a mirror, or water, or any mildly reflective surface. She was looking straight at a person, and this person looked straight back at her.

Ruki had finally found her match.

If Ruki had not been in such a state of shock from the last three minutes, if she had not been gasping because of the apparition standing before her, if she had not been paralysed by the fact that she had been shot through the chest, then maybe she would have noticed. Noticed that although the girl that lingered before her had her hair, the same, fiery red hair, done in the same style, her own still had a quality to it that the other's didn't. That although they had the same violet irises, her counterpart's eyes didn't have the same expression; that Ruki's carefully cultivated apathy was hiding fear, and the other's was hiding hatred. That although they both had the same bitten left pinky nail, one girl's bitten left pinky nail was the copy of the other's bitten left pinky nail.

As it was, she didn't. And her mirror image was glad of that.

"Welcome to purgatory, Makino Ruki."

"Who are you?" Ruki shot back, her mind reeling, head dizzy.

"Calm down, Makino Ruki. I am Kyoko."

"Kyoko means nothing to me."

"Welcome to purgatory, Makino Ruki."

"Stop repeating yourself!"

Kyoko sighed inwardly. If Makino Ruki didn't understand her situation, then Kyoko wouldn't have done her job. And if Kyoko didn't do her job, then...well.

"This is purgatory, Ruki. Purgatory."

"Purgatory- as in...as in..." Ruki couldn't bring herself to say it. "Afterlife purgatory?"

Kyoko stood still, letting her come to her own conclusion.

Ruki realised that she could answer her own question, and she knew that the answer wasn't what she wanted.

"Why? Why? This kind of thing doesn't happen to me."

"On the contrary, Miss Makino, many strange things have happened to you."

Kyoko's voice snapped Ruki out of a daze. She was...she was...she couldn't say it. She'd loved life too much to let it slip away. She would not let some crazy man with a gun just cut her life short, just like that. She had to get out of here.

'_I will. I just will.'_

Kyoko looked at Ruki with faint annoyance. Why wasn't she crying yet?

She shrugged, and walked away, ignoring Ruki's cry of, "Stop!"

Ruki tried running after her, but she found to her dismay that she couldn't- literally couldn't.

Her legs felt weak, and it was as if all the energy she had had been sapped, and she was left alone. Too alone. Makino Ruki had finally found her solitude, and she found she hated it. Being alone in your comfy, safe, familiar room was a lot better than being alone in a big, grey expanse.

'_This is what dea- is? This is it? Nothing more...nothing more than this.'_

Her heart was sinking, and her lids were heavy. She had an overwhelming urge to sit, to lie down, to _die _again. Just to get away from the big nothing that she would spend the rest of eternity in.

'_Well. This stinks.'_

She laughed at herself, softly, then louder. If no-one could hear her, what was the point in being restrained? Besides, it wasn't as if anyone else could laugh at her private jokes. And the tears, which she had held back so effectively wouldn't help her at all. She straightened her back, and started to look around.

'_There must be a way to get out of here.'_

She didn't give up, ever. Steely determination both made her, and broke her, as she started to walk- into nothing, and nothing welcomed her.

Unbeknownst to her, Kyoko was watching. Her face was contorted by anger and resentment. Why was she laughing? Why? Everyone who had come through before had cried within the first five minutes- the young toddlers who had died from diseases, the tough bikers who had been killed in an accident, the old people who had passed away in their beds. Every single one of them. Perhaps she wouldn't have minded so much if it was not _Makino Ruki_. Kyoko's "heart" twisted into itself, and she felt a strange sensation she knew so well- raw, unmitigated, unadulterated hatred.

There was no way she would help this girl. Not her, who had stolen so much from her.

She had done her job, had let Makino Ruki know what had happened to her. Now she could do as she wanted. And that, at the moment, was letting her be. Waiting for that sweet moment when she would finally get to see her cry.

Makino Ruki had not known who she was talking t- all she knew was "Kyoko". Like "Kyoko" really existed. She knew that she wouldn't, couldn't, not yet, tell Ruki what she had gotten herself into by existing. Kuri Konima had all the time in the world to exact her revenge, bit by little bit.

Ryo sat cross-legged on the floor. He had felt a little funny a couple of minutes ago, and stayed still, catching his breath. Standing up, he scratched his head, still feeling a little woozy.

'_What was that? Jeez. What an odd word "jeez" is. I wonder why people use it? What made someone first say "jeez"? It's so random. I have to ask Riku about it. She might know.'_

He didn't notice that, in his hands, he held a small photo. He looked down at it, snapping out of his stupor. He smiled, seeing Riku look straight back at him, before cringing at his face, covered in apple and dog spit (it was a long story). He set it down on his table, face down. His eyes widened.

'_How the hell did I manage to spell Riku's name wrong?'_

He rummaged around for a rubber, carefully swapping around the 'i', and the 'u'. Riku would kill him if she saw her name spelt wrongly. He laughed, thinking of her expression if she knew- little things like that made her mad. But that was what everyone loved about her, wasn't it?

'_Actually, maybe it's just me that likes that.'_

He knew that Kazu didn't like Riku's short fuse at all.

Throwing away the rubber into the mess that was his room, he flopped back down onto his bed, not knowing that he had just erased the last of Makino Ruki.

* * *

Read, Review, Respire! Go respiration! And go and review, as well.

C6H12O6 O6....well, you get the idea.

What was I going to say? Ah, yes. Another song for people to download! "Believe" by Yellowcard is great. Don't be put off by the title of the song, like I was. It's truly a great song. And it fits in with the chapter you just read, anyway. I can't believe that they're no famous over here in the UK. It's criminal, it really, really is.


	6. Just an Ordinary Day

Hello everyone! Chapter 6 is finally up. Firstly, thanks to:

**LittleHikari542**, thanks! A factoid always brightens up my day...! It will be included in this story, I promise you…hehe, look out for it.

To **Malka**, ohhhh, there's a reason Ryo "misspells" Riku's name. Hope this clears it up a bit (but not too much- where would the plot be then?).

**Bunni Girl**- just for you, this chapter will be (or is, in fact) the longest chapter in To Fight Fate's history! How exciting that is:) A year?? That's a long time to keep us waiting for your amazing work.

**Black**, well, what can I say? I'm very flattered, and I will include Takato (I can see a plot device forming)- he's definitely essential to the plot.

And to anyone who's been reading but not left a comment (leeaavve a comment), thanks too. Also, please excuse _my _poor excuses for horizontal breakers- QuickEdit 2.02 doesn't seem to work on my laptop (or any computer I get my hands on) to full capacity, so I am forced to use dashes.

Ooh, also, try to figure out the hidden clues and hidden symbolism (quite proud of "Kyoko's" name)! Makes it better, I think- it's not too obscure, most of it. Hey- if you look really carefully, you can even see a theme or two appearing! Wait a minute. Don't. I sound like my English teacher…

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"So, refraction makes sure that, when we see something through a different medium, we see a distorted image. It seems to be the same to the inexperienced eye, but really, what we see is a sham, a copy."

The teacher moved to the front of the class, and wrote three letters on the board: TIR.

"Total Internal Reflection. Who can tell me about Total Internal Reflection, or TIR?"

Juri looked across to Riku, stifling her yawn. Of all the subjects, science was Juri's worst- and so the most hated. She just didn't (or wouldn't- despite people's opinions of her, she was not dumb) understand the concepts of science, and this topic, Teaching Block A:2 on Reflection and Refraction was the most boring one they had thought up. Ever.

Riku excelled at science, it being her forte. She had, as Kazu so eloquently put it, "The imagination of a dead sheep surrounded by flies, and the flies are eating the sheep, and the flies have no imagination", and the precision of science suited her down to a par. The fact that Riku was one of those analytical types helped as well.

Juri just liked to go with the flow.

"Miss Katou, could you help us out here?"

'_Goshdarnit.'_

"I…um- I…"

Juri stammered, looking to Riku for help. Riku mouthed something at her, but she couldn't figure it out. She felt her cheeks go red, and she bit her bottom lip.

'_Stupid teacher. Stupid teacher. Stupid science! Oh…what am I going to say? Who'd have thought that reflection and stuff could be this complicated? I always thought it was really simple.'_

The teacher left her to flounder helplessly, and pathetically, for a minute that seemed like an hour to Juri, before turning to Riku.

"Miss Mikano, do you have something to say to the class?"

"No."

"Well then, perhaps you could clear things up a little for us?"

"Waves going from a **slower** to a **faster** medium speed up and bend at the boundary, for example, light going from glass to air. Beyond the critical angle, all the waves bounce back into the glass - they are**totally internally reflected**."

'_Wow. There's a lot going on in there.' _Juri thought, relieved, resolving to store that definition for later use. _'It's like there's all this stuff going on in this little thing that we don't know about…whoa... I should so become a writer! I am so poetical!'_

"Oh." The teacher was silenced- she had definitely not expected Riku to reel it off so surely, and so scientifically. Being a new teacher to the school, she had not yet discovered the extent to which Riku was good at science- when she picked on her she had not anticipated the level to which she had performed. But still, Riku had shown her up, and from that moment on, she began to feel a little grudge against her brilliant pupil.

"She said what?" Ryo laughed, when the two were recounting the story later.

Midori was with them, much to Riku's irritation. As she laughed a little, tinkly, feminine laugh, copying Ryo's actions, and reactions, her skin prickled. Did this girl have no originality? Or even a personality, independent from Ryo?

"Well, what could she do? It wasn't as if she could say, 'Mikano, detention for knowing too much', could she?"

Ryo laughed, again, louder, looking fondly on at Midori.

'_I am so lucky to have someone with the same sense of humour as me.'_

Riku was giving Midori a poisonous glare- she hated it when people sucked up to Ryo, just because he was, well, Ryo.

'_Get a backbone, Midori. Get a backbone. In fact, just get some legs, and run away from here before I end up crushing to pieces your invertebrate body.'_

"So how was the party, Midori?" Juri asked kindly, if only to put her at ease. And to try and push the conversation along a bit. Juri got along with Midori, but Riku was nothing but condescension when she was around. Not without good reason- in Juri's mind, all of Ryo's girlfriends were just bad copies of Riku- but still, she wished that they would help her along a little, especially Ryo, who always had something to say, who was just standing there like a lemon.

"It was great, thanks Juri. Only it sucked, 'cause Ryo wasn't there. But I had loads of fun. Only, it kind of wasn't all that great, 'cause, Ryo couldn't come, but, well…yeah." She reached up to him, and gently kissed him on the lips. They parted, with Midori's eyes darting towards Riku for a split-second, to see how she reacted. Staking her property. Marking her territory. Like a dog in heat. Riku almost laughed- Midori _was_ literally a bitch.

'_I sound so bitter.'_

After just a week of Midori hanging around with them, she was ready to burst a vein. She just couldn't wait until Ryo moved onto another, less irritating girl.

Midori leant against Ryo's warm torso, and wrapped her arms around him, still sneaking sly looks at Riku, to gauge how she felt about him. She felt happy- she had secured her place as Ryo's girlfriend. Riku was just a sad ex (she had heard the rumours, no matter how much they had denied it) who couldn't let go. Ryo was _hers_.

Riku saw the smug look that Midori gave her, and inwardly gave her the finger. This girl did not seem to comprehend how supremely disposable she was.

'_Disposable like a Polaroid camera. Or some sort of novelty sticker.'_

She would be gone in a month, tops, just like she told Jenrya. She could see Midori fawning over Ryo, carefully watching her to gauge her reaction.

'_Aw…how cute. Too bad for her; she's not going to get anything she can sell to the tabloids.'_

He looked down at her, and their eyes met. It was as if music was playing in the background, as their lips started to move together in anticipation of that sweet sweet moment when-

Riku's eyes rolled upwards- one JuriandTakato monster she could handle, but RyoandMidori she couldn't. It just seemed worse, somehow.

"I'll see you guys later." Riku walked away, with a wave of her hand.

Ryo had completely forgotten to ask her about her about Saturday, when they would go to Walrus World (he had given in to his dad). He had yet to convince her to go- the only ones who would accompany him were Kazu and Kenta, and he didn't think that he could stomach a full day with them. Plus he had to ask her about the origins of 'Jeez'. "Wait! Ruki!"

She turned around sharply. "Ruki?"

He looked puzzled. "I don't know where that came from."

"I'm called Riku, Ryo. Ri-ku. You'd think that something would have penetrated that thick, thick skull of yours, Akiyama, in these four years, but no."

"I know you're called Riku." He replied, dumbly, and clumsily. Why did Ruki sound so familiar? He shook it off, buried the thought. He had other things to worry about, like his biology essay, or being introduced to Midori's friends- let alone some stupid slip of tongue.

But it stayed with him, nagging. Something was different, but what?

"So call me that, dumb-ass-thick-skull."

What was wrong? More importantly, why was something wrong?

"Don't dumb-ass me when you're the one who looks like a donkey." He smirked at her, waving his fingers in a condescending way. "Besides, it's only two letters. You can live with that, can't you?"

'_Ruki, Riku, what's the difference?'_

There is one big difference when one girl is living normal life, and the other is trudging around purgatory.

Ruki was close to meltdown, as she kept on walking and walking, seeing nothing. Grey was ingrained into her head- she couldn't talk, couldn't think, couldn't laugh, couldn't love, couldn't hate. When she closed her eyes, she saw grey. When she turned her head to the left, she saw grey. When she turned her head to the right, she saw grey.

"Everything is grey." She whispered, knowing that no-one heard her, and that, if they did, no-one would care.

She had never been one to sit on the fence- she'd always stuck to one thing, and been firmly convinced that it was irrevocably right. There had never been much grey area in her life- everything was put securely in its place.

Apart from Ryo- that had been one huge grey area. She missed him- in fact, she missed all of them. Especially Renamon. She missed her mother, her grandmother, even her dad. She missed Jenrya, and Juri, and Takato, and Kenta, and _Kazu_. Never in her life did she imagine that she would miss Kazu's presence. She regretted many things, not least having that conversation with Ryo she always wanted- where they were serious, and she could tell him how much she appreciated his friendship. How much she regretted not being _that_ much nicer to Juri when she had the chance, and not comforting Takato when he was in one of his neurotic phases ("Juri is going to dump me. She is going to dump me."). She regretted taking Jenrya for granted, and for not spending more time with Renamon.

Mostly she regretted going to the train station that day.

Being shot wasn't fun, not at all. If she ever managed to talk to any of them again, she would have to tell them to make sure that they never got shot.

The one thing that she didn't regret was the absence of Midori. She always had this great feeling of antipathy against Ryo's endless girlfriends. It was as if they were breaking the cosy little circle that the Tamers had set up- that she had set up.

Ruki, Ryo, Jenrya, Juri, Takato, Kazu, Kenta, and Suzy.

Ruki, Ryo, Jenrya, Juri, Takato, Kazu, Kenta, Suzy, **and** Midori.

Nope. The first one sounded better.

'_I wonder how everyone reacted to my dea- passing over. I hope mum is alright. I hope grandma is alright. I hope Renamon finds a new partner. No- wait. I don't. Because then…then, what would be left of me? If no-one remembered me, then what was the point of my existence at all?'_

"Stupid purgatory."

She flopped down onto the "ground". Actually, she couldn't tell if it was the ground, as there was no horizon. She had a sneaking suspicion that she could walk upwards, vertically, and nothing would happen.

She tried, and succeeded. She smiled to herself- she had always wanted to know what walking that way up felt like. It wasn't all that great actually. Within a few seconds, she had adjusted, and it all felt as if she was upright again, as opposed to cool-sideways-feeling.

Kuri (or Kyoko, as Ruki knew her. It was never good to reveal yourself to the enemy) was close to tears herself. Where was her revenge? Where was the breaking down, the hopelessness? Where?

Ruki tried again, this time going further. She ended up feeling the same way again. It was as if she could turn any way she wanted, and still be upright. This kind of thinking made her feel a little odd, and she sat down again, in what theoretically should have been 180 degrees from where she started, but was actually (it seemed to her, anyway) exactly the same as before. A fresh wave of depression overtook her. She was walking nowhere. She just ended up where she was before, walking in…not circles, exactly, but- just…nothing. Did it really matter what she did, what anyone did, if all they did was end up in the same place again?

'_Why am I in purgatory?'_

You'd think, that after saving the world from utter evil and desecration at the hands of a giant pink blob, she'd earned a place in heaven, at least. But no. Here she was, stuck in never-never land.

Usually, with people, all Kuri/Kyoko had to do was tell them that they were dead, and they would be at her mercy, crying, and begging. Some of the older ones, or the suicidal ones seemed to accept it better, but they were boring in their apathy. But with Makino Ruki, she had found that it was harder. She had definitely met her match, just like Ruki had.

'_No; no. This girl is not my equal, in any way. I am the superior one.'_

Still, she felt her resolve slipping, and she watched her mirror image sit, head resting on her palm. She just seemed to be bored, not upset. Kuri knew that she had to put Cocky Makino in her place. Did she think that after all she had done to her, that in Kuri's own territory, that she could act that way?

She knew that to destroy Makino Ruki's spirit, she would need more than this. She would have to use subtle subterfuge for it all. And she felt the rush of power coming back.

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Merry Christmas! Or, actually, Merry Crimbo, for all of you out there. I'm teaching everyone English slang, isn't that nice? I won't be updating 'till next year- it's just too much of a waste of Christmas to write and draft over December- Christmas balls, here I come (£20 dress, can you believe it?)! And if anyone wants to send me a present, please feel free…

I saw a Christmas tree on the top of a construction crane today- all twinkly and fairy-like. It was great, seeing this pretty thing on the top of this monstrosity, building yet more pubs. Don't you just love the reindeer on the top of people's houses? Makes you wish that the goodwill was around all year…but I digress.

Without Wax, le-petit-chou (I love Dan Brown- such a good writer- blatant plug here for Digital Fortress) hohohoho!


	7. Kick Him to the Curb

Hello there everybody! Hope you had a nice Christmas, Hanukkah, New Years, Chinese New Years, etc. Not to mention Valentine's Day, which was yesterday!

Love is in the aiiiiir.

First of all, thanks go to:

**Bunni Girl**, my faithful reviewer and writer in her own right (it rhymes, it rhymes!). Glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope that you enjoy reading this too.

To **Tai-for-you**, thanks for reviewing- I hope that this chapter un-confuses you, and gives you some of the answers you need!

And finally, **Ao-Senshi**- hm…you know, I've read your stories, and your bio (wait a minute- I sound like a stalker), and you seem like a very intelligent person. Seems to me like I should make this less confusing… hey, wait a minute, I did that in this chapter! What a coincidence -) Anyway, hope you like the unraveling here.

* * *

Ryo rubbed his eyes, and squinted. Everything was blurry, and his head was pounding hard. It was as if there was a rhino in there, trampling around in his skull. He sat up, only to fall down again, into a soft bed. The covers lay crumpled at the bottom of the bed, with what looked like pink stains on it, marring the pristine white underneath. He turned around, hand on his forehead, and saw empty bottles of Smirnoff Ice Pink lying on a bedside table. 

He shivered, suddenly cold. Then he realised _why_ he was cold. He gasped, jumped up, and lunged for the covers at the bottom of the bed, trying to cover himself as he searched frantically for his clothes. What had happened last night? He looked at a mirror, and, after taking a quick look at bloodshot eyes, and a tan chest that had "FAG HAG" written across it in black pen. He pushed his hand through his hair- a nervous reaction of his- only to find a sticky substance making it tangled.

"Crap." He groaned to himself, head in his hands, before grabbing at the sheets again as they fell. Where was he? Whose party was it anyway? Why was he…where were his clothes? His sight was still impaired; everything was blurry beyond a metre or so.

"Ryo? Ryo! Come here, you! You…you…fag!" A girl erupted into giggles, and flopped down onto the bed, patting the mattress beside her. He couldn't see who she was, but he could tell that she had a bottle in her hand.

"Ryo! You elephant!" She cackled again, bursting with laughter.

"Ri-Riku?" He tried the first name that came to mind tentatively.

"No! Don't be silly, fag-elephant! I'm-" Here she hiccupped. "I'm Midori. I can't believe you mistook me for her…she's so hiccup stuck up."

It was as if someone had splashed cold water all over him. "Midori! Where are your clothes?"

"I- hic- I dunno."

Ryo's head was reeling. Had he? With Midori? His imaginary feelings for her evaporated, the most he felt for her was disgust as the girl drunkenly patted the bed again.

"Come on, Ryo! You're not really an elephant. You're…you're a stick insect!"

Cue laughter again.

Why had he not seen how irritating her laugh was before? His head pounded; he had no time to listen to her cackle…he needed to get out and stick his head down a toilet.

'_I have to get out of here.'_

All instinct was telling him to leave. Ryo was a nice guy, but he was only human. He had no thoughts about Midori's well-being, at all. Just that he had to get away, quickly. Head still pounding, he put his clothes on- a ripped t-shirt and some jeans with suspicious pink stains on them, and left- the giggly Midori still lying on the bed. She noticed him leaving, and let out a sob. He turned around, hardly daring to look.

"You're leaving, aren't you?" She was obviously drunk, but there was a lucid look in her eyes as she peered up at him, through wet lashes. "Please…please don't leave me."

Her voice had dropped to a whisper, and her hands were wringing, tears dripping from her eyes.

It was so quiet, Ryo could hear the groans of others in the house as they woke up to the same putrid mess that he had.

He turned, his head aching even more.

She grabbed his arm, falling on the floor as she did, still keeping hold of him. "Ryo, don't leave me! Please…please…"

He gulped, as he extracted his arm from her weak grip. She slumped down on the floor, chin on her chest, drooping like an abandoned puppet as he ran out of the house and onto the street.

And that was how Ryo broke up with Midori.

"I can't believe the press hasn't heard of this yet." Riku scolded him, disapproving frown on her face. "I told you not to go to that stupid party."

Ryo's dad had thought that they had all gone to Walrus World, for good, old-fashioned family fun. He had no idea what his son got up to at night, or that he was sitting in Riku's house, rocking back and forth on a cushion in her kitchen.

"Here." She handed him a cup of tea (lots of milk, 5 tsp of sugar), and sat down next to the bedraggled Ryo. She almost laughed at his pathetic form, huddled in one of their sleeping bags, puke in his hair, grabbing at the tea eagerly. Or, she would have laughed if she had not been so disgusted by him. "Jenrya will be around in a second. He's bringing some clothes."

"Sorry." He croaked, face penitent.

"You say that every time. Every time I have to bail you out, Akiyama, and it's really getting on my nerves! It is not my job to house you after your blow-out parties, after you screw your willing 'girlfriend' and abandon her. You are disgusting, you know that? Disgusting."

"Sorry."

"And do you know what you are going to do after this? You're going to find another girl who believes your stupid, and, let me tell you this, sickeninglies, and then you're going to fall in 'love' with her, you'll go to her party, take advantage of her and leave her."

"Sorry." He mumbled again, miserably. "I don't mean to, you know."

Her face softened. "I know you don't mean to, Ryo. But you have to stop this cycle! I don't know if you've noticed, but you really come off as a jerk."

He thought back to Midori's face, begging, looking up to him, eyes watering. He should feel pity, but all he felt was abhorrence. The smell of Jack Daniels and sick lingered on him, as he remembered the manic glint in her eyes, the smudged mascara on her cheeks, and the prominent veins scarring her hands.

He closed his eyes, and leaned forward, eyes watering, for some stupid reason. He'd been in this situation before, countless times, but never before had he felt as dirty as today.

Riku looked upon him, commiserating. She knew what it felt like to regret something deeply. She put her arm around him, in an unusual act of compassion, eyes widening in surprise when he turned towards her and hugged her, his head buried in her shoulder. She patted his back twice awkwardly, eyes darting around, and for a moment the two just sat there in silence.

'_O.k. Time to get off me, Ryo.'_

She eased herself away, making sure to keep hold of his still shaky shoulders. "Hey! Careful. I don't want to get puke all over me. I'm still clean, unlike you. That means both things, by the way. Double entendre, kind of."

Ryo dropped his head, ashamed. "It wasn't that much- just s-"

"No excuses."

"Yes ma'am." Obviously his snappy remarks hadn't been lost in the party, unlike his underwear. She knew which one she'd rather he kept.

She rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Look. Just go through to the bathroom, and wash yourself. You can use the old soap- the one I save for you and your catastrophes. I'll wait for Jen."

He nodded mutely, and shuffled his way down the corridor. The door made a quiet _click_, closing quietly.

Riku scratched the back of her head, sighing. Ryo was so stupid sometimes. Lucky for him both her mother and grandmother were out. Actually, she wasn't sure if it was luck- he had managed to escape them so many times. She was beginning to think that he had a schedule.

'_Five, four, three, two-'_

The familiar sound of the water splashing down in the shower started up.

'_Almost. Almost had it.'_

"Hey Riku." A bluish voice greeted her (she didn't know why, but she always thought that Jenrya had a blue voice. He was kind of grey-blue, really. All calm, and collected).

"Jen. Hi." She stole a quick glance at his carrier bag. "Did anyone see you coming here?"

"Well, people saw me coming here, but I don't think that they **saw** me coming here, if you know what I mean."

She nodded, and beckoned him inside.

"So. Midori is over and done with. What's the story this time?"

"Same, as always."

Jenrya frowned, forehead creasing deeply. "It's not right, Riku. He keeps on discarding these girls in such a…such a callous way. Sometimes I think he deserves to be outed."

"All of his former girlfriends are too embarrassed to tell the press. They come out looking desperate, I guess."

"Any chance I could get some of that tea?"

"Tetley, or Chinese?"

"Chinese, please."

"I don't know. Sometimes it feels like he goes through this remorseful phase, only to come out again with a new girl."

Jenrya nodded in agreement, and sat down. He laughed, softly. "When did this come out?"

He held out the small figurine of Riku to her, twisting it so that the permanent frown was facing its muse. "You look a bit green."

"I think it's cute."

Jenrya felt a small pang. What did she just say? It felt completely wrong.

'_Completely un-Ruki; wait, no, I mean, un-Riku-like.'_

He let it go- just a fleeting thought.

"I brought some Ryo-ish clothes. At least, the most Ryo-ish clothes I could find."

"That's good then." A dripping Ryo-head popped out from behind the door. "Could you give them to me? I…uh…I kind of need them."

Jenrya got up, and handed the plastic bag to him. "I didn't bring any…you know…under…you know. I didn't think you'd want mine. And the clothes might be a little small for you."

"Thanks Jenrya." Ryo sneaked out a hand to grasp at the bag, gratefully. A couple of minutes later, he re-emerged sparkling, and nauseatingly, just as pretty-boy as he was the night before.

Ruki stared straight back at Kyoko, willing herself not to flinch. She felt as if the girl (was she a girl?) could see right through her. "Why am I here?"

"This is purgatory, Ruki. It is where you go if you have been neither good nor bad; neither heroic nor villainous. If you are…how do I put this- average."

"Most of the human race then."

"So cynical." Kyoko smirked back at Ruki, mimicking the look on her face so as to convince her that she shared an emotion of sorts. "But true."

"I don't understand though. Did I not save the world from complete destruction? Doesn't that earn me a place in heaven…or nirvana, or…well…whatever else is…up…there…here?" Her voice faltered, and she felt it tremble. Cursing at herself under her breath, she kept her head up high.

"Ruki, what do you believe in?"

"I don't have a religion. There is nothing after death." Ruki instantly backtracked. "Although, I guess that opinion's moot now."

"That'd be right." Ruki opened her mouth to reply, but was stopped by Kyoko. "Those who are Christian go to Heaven, or Hell. Those who are Buddhist go to Nirvana, or get reincarnated. Those who choose to embrace Islam have their Judgement Day. Those who are atheist, or agnostic come here."

Ruki stood, stunned into silence, the grey wrapping around her like a fog. "That's not fair…that's not fair. This is-"

"Worse than hell? Oh- I agree. I agree completely."

One trick that Ruki had never been able to do was the tablecloth trick. Ryo had proudly shown her before, after hours and hours of practising, pulling the tablecloth out from underneath the cutlery, and the food, and the drinks without breaking, or spilling anything. She remembered the mess of the table, the orange juice dripping everywhere, the tiny little bit of egg that had splattered approximately 1.3cm from Ryo's left eyebrow when she had attempted it herself, that one time.

Kyoko had not only pulled the tablecloth from under the food, but she had twisted it off, jumped onto the table, and started stamping on it, goose-stepping like a Nazi soldier.

"Nothing; eternal nothing- that's worse than anything." Kyoko prompted Ruki, pushing her. '_Only a little further…'_

"Where are all the other people? Surely there must be thousands of other atheists and agnostics who died before me?" Ruki found her voice again, and pushed back the quiver of fear that had wormed its way into her mind.

'_What if I'm here forever, alone? Trapped inside this nonentity?'_

"I don't know." Kyoko lied, eyes unblinking. "I just don't know."

* * *

**I'm very sorry if I offended anyone's religious beliefs. When this idea popped into my head, I didn't really think about how it would appear, and, again, if anyone is upset, I would advise you to not read the closing chapters of this story, because it _will get worse_. I tried to keep it as neutral as possible, but obviously in a story like this, it is impossible to keep all religion out of it.**

Anyway, moving on...nice little button down there, isn't it?

By the way, I take it back, what I said about Dan Brown. I don't know if anyone else watched that program, _'The Real Da Vinci Code'_, but I did, and it turns out that he has been sadly misguided. Shame.

Ooh- and also, if you are fluent in French, mind helping me with my French Oral? I am actually being serious here people! I can see a big fat **G** heading my way for my Year 10 exams. Gaahhhhh… speaking of French, has anyone watched the film "Amelie"? The soundtrack to that is brilliant- if you get it, listen to track number four, "Comptine d'un autre été: l'après midi". It is the most amazing thing I've ever heard. Just to emphasise my point, let me say again, e-mail me a fluently amazing A French Oral speech on shopping. I am banging my head against the table in fits and convulsions! Very soon, due to lack of brain cells, I will be unable to talk in _English_, let alone _French_.

**To make the story so far clear, I have made a little summary for you! Lovely, aren't I?**

Firstly, Ruki- yes, our Ruki Makino has been killed. She was killed by an unknown maniac with a gun, and currently resides in purgatory, accompanied by the ever-so-slightly-evil Kyoko/Kuri. Ruki doesn't knowwhat other alias Kyoko has;all she knows is what Kyoko tells her.

Secondly, Kyoko appears to have a hidden agenda, although what, exactly, is a mystery. She calls herself Kuri at times...

Thirdly, a girl named Riku has taken our heroine's place. No-one seems to have noticed this small change- it seems that the slate has been wiped clean. Only Ryo and Jenrya, two of her closest friends, have felt anything different.

Just wanted to clear things up a little bit, before things get more twisty and knotty.


	8. A Detective is Born

Heyho readero! Hm…yeah…

Anyway, thanks go to:

**Tai-for-you**, glad you understand the story better. I hope that it stays clear for you and thanks for reviewing!

**Malka**- happy day before the day before going back to school! And also, thanks for reviewing. :-) Keep that up.

**Bunni Girl**, sad to hear that you've fallen out of Ryuki…but oh well, I've done that before. Here's to you falling back in! And also continuing to read my story. Anyway, thought I'd put a less suspenseful spin on this chapter, change it a little.

**Ao-Senshi**- yeah, I don't think that what I'll be writing will be too offensive…but better safe than sorry I suppose. Thanks for the review! Maybe I should do the summary thing more often…

To **Numbuh**, happy it cleared it up for you!

Anyhoo, just so everyone knows, I am actually a Christian. Not devout though, in the least. I guess I am by default…or am I Buddhist? Oh well. To tell you the truth, religion doesn't come into my life all that much, anyway. I was atheist for a while, but it got too depressing…whole life is meaningless except to carry on DNA concept makes for a pretty gloomy outlook.

This chapter is shorter than the others, but it's very different. Thought I'd vary things a little, spice it up, so to speak.

* * *

I swear, I'm going crazy. I mean, first of all, I'm…well. It's a little embarrassing, but I am _hearing voices in my head_. And you're one of them. Seriously, I'm sitting here, talking to you. Are you a ghost? Or some kind of spirit? Sorry to offend you if you aren't one of them, by the way. 

Oh? You're not a ghost? What are you then…?

My conscience? Nope, sorry, I think I left that behind at Midori's.

My soul? Sorry again, there can be only **one** guy _this_ good-looking in the _universe_.

My guardian angel? Hm….I think that ship sailed about the time I was seven. Around the same time I stopped believing in the tooth fairy.

You know what, forget it.

I need someone to talk to anyway. Riku seems kind of off at the moment. I just can't put my finger on it. I know it sounds stupid- Ryo Akiyama, alone in the world- but really, I do depend on her for a lot of talking. But it's like something's changed, something's shifted. And I need to talk about the one thing I can't talk to her about.

Oh, yeah. I forgot to introduce myself. Akiyama Ryo here, at your service. Also known as the Legendary Trainer, part-time saviour of the world, Digimon King, teen heart-throb and veritable Casanova. You can call me that if you want. No, I insist. Wait. You already knew who I was? You some kind of stalker?

Anyway, what does the Legendary Trainer do in his spare time? Sit here, talking to ghosts. Really, I do. I think, mostly. You see, I'm usually on the go. Parties, slaying evil monsters, that kind of thing. And…uh. It's kind of embarrassing to admit this, but…yeah, whenever I'm alone, which is not often, my mind wanders…to Ruki.

WAIT! WAIT! Riku, not Ruki. Riku. Sorry about that. Back on track. I- I guess I still have a little, tiny, teensy-weensy cr-u-sh on her. Just a little one. Well, I mean, who could blame me? She's _good-looking_. Rawr. But it's nothing big, I swear. I get crushes like this all the time! I even- don't tell anyone- I even had a crush on _Alice_ at one point. I only saw her, what, once? I like everything with two X-chromosomes.

Right. I've got to set the story straight on me and Riku. There are too many rumours around about us, and it's beginning to strain. Getting a bit annoying, you know? Like slander.

I mean, she was the first girl I saw after having been in the Digital World for so long. You'd feel the same way if you'd been in that situation. Unless you liked guys, though. In which case, I guess there was always Kazu…yueeech.

I don't swing that way, girlfriend click click! Hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!

God, I'm funny. Did you get how I did the gay thing, to show that I wasn't gay? The whole irony thing. No offense to gays, though. I like them. I have a couple of gay friends you know- to tell the truth, I thought that maybe Takato was. But then he got together with Juri-

I digress.

Definitely not gay though. I mean, did you see Midori? Did you see the face (and body) she had on her? It would still give me the heebie-jeebies if I weren't so repulsed by her now. Whole puke and sick and degrading thing. Even at the best of times, she didn't hold a candle to Ruki. Riku. Whatever.

Yeah, Riku is hot. But so goddamn unapproachable! There is no way in _hell_ I would _ever _ask her out. For a start, she'd probably cut out my testicles if I so much as mentioned it. Ooh, rude word. She hated me at first, just because I was better than her at the (air quotation marks) Card Game. Way too competitive for my tastes. I only became acceptable to her when she beat me at the real thing, merged with Renamon before I merged with Cyberdramon. Which, I have to admit, was pretty impressive. But then, she's not exactly the passive type, is she now?

She gave me an earful after the Midori incident. I felt helluva guilty after that. Midori was sweet, she was. But she's moved on, I bet. I haven't. It just seemed worse this time. Maybe I've grown out of the whole trouser snake thing? I mean, it's not like I try to do it. Girls just seem to like me. Even Riku, formerly Cold and Angry Bitch has succumbed to my oh-so-masculine wiles. Not _that_ way, though. You shouldn't think like that! She still manages to keep on top of me, as it were. _Hem, hem_. She wouldn't be my girlfriend in one-hundred-thousand years. Not that I'd ask her, just so you know.

There is this one girl. She's called Meiko. She's a brunette, medium-height. Really sparky and pretty. Couple of years younger than me, but who cares?

Thing is, I don't- I'll have to whisper- I don't really like her. No! No- don't get me wrong, I _like_ her. I just…you know, that spark, the one that I get with every girl, Midori, Aina, Lena- it's just _not there_. You must have felt that before. Come on, even ghosts get that.

Ok, ok, you're not a ghost.

Anyway, I'm really pissed off. Why? Why? I honestly don't know what_ exactly_. It's a bit fuzzy to me too. That is the third reason I am slowly becoming insane. Thing is, I'm pissed off at Riku.

Whoa! Calm down, feisty. I didn't know you liked her so much.

What's that?

Ruki?

I didn't say Ruki, did I? I said Riku.

I'm angry at her. And I don't know why. Well, I do. But it's…it's complicated. You wouldn't want to hear it.

Oh well, you're going to have to hear it. What do I care about a ghost, anyway?

Wait! Wait- don't go! Please, stay. Sorry. I just need to unload. It's just that, you know. Everyone- at least the Tamers, anyway, thinks that I'm such a bad guy. Got this whole _cad_ thing going on. But I'm not. At least, I thought I was before. Well, I didn't really think about it. But I had this moment of clarity. When Riku hugged me in the kitchen. To be exact, just before then.

I realised.

The penny dropped (dramatic music).

Pennies hurt. You should try it, seriously. It's surprisingly painful.

I realised that all the girls I've been dating, every single one of them- they've been like a miniature version of Riku! Freaky, isn't it? Freaaaaky-deeeaky. Just that one moment, it all became clear. Even Meiko looks suspiciously like her. And then I dumped them once they gave in to me, the one thing that Riku wouldn't do.

And now, now I am ready to admit all of this, what does she do? She _changes_. Change! The goddamn nerve of that girl.

But something is up. I know, I know. I do not have an ice-cube's chance in hell (good analogy) of ever seducing her, and besides, I doubt that I could ever really properly like her in that way. Bit confusing, eh? I have this huge…little crush on her, but I could never like her as a girlfriend. I never even thought about it until yesterday in her kitchen. I mean, I'm not attracted to her, really. Believe me; I'd have tried something if I did. I tend to go for more…girly girls. But then, why am I dating little clones of her?

No, seriously, I don't have feelings for her. It's purely physical. I don't know, really. She's great and all, wonderful friend, etcetera, but as a girlfriend, she would suck. I mean, really, can you imagine her snuggling up to me and burying her face in my chest, calling me "baby", or "sugar-pie"? Although, that doesn't really appeal either…And I don't get that flippy thing that you get when you meet someone you really fancy…although I got that with Midori and that didn't turn out so well, I guess. Besides, think about the press, and all that. They'd make her out to be this little abused Lilly, and I'd be her knight in shining armour, or something stupid like that. You know, melting her icy façade. I wouldn't mind, I like being the hero, but, you see, the thing is, she likes being the hero too.

Moving swiftly on, something is most definitely up. I was just thinking…back to the other day. On the bench in the park. It wasn't all that long ago, believe it or not. I was moping about not being able to go to Midori's party…I didn't really listen to her then. But…were you there? Do you remember what she said? About those animals going after her-and the bite marks, as well?

She actually said something afterwards, to me about it. Just before she left for the train station. Something about broken glass and cars coming after her. She seemed really flustered, for the first time. And then she went to the train station to meet her dad- I met him once, by the way. Not like you'd expect him, actually. He's quite a mousy, unimpressive man. Anyway, she came back after that, and she changed. Just a tiny shift- I doubt anyone else has noticed- and when I asked her if things were still out to get her, she looked really confused and told me to stop taking drugs, something stupid like that.

Not that I do, mind.

I'm crazy, I know. Insane, deranged, flipped out, maniacal, and…I've run out of synonyms, sorry. Just call me Crazy…Joe…? But something is wrong, and I'm going to find out what it is, because...well, I guess I'm just curious.

Ooh, I've always wanted to be a detective! _Detective Akiyama_. Has a ring to it.

I like a cause, me. Just to find out why Riku's been acting so off-key. Family problems(bit of a cliche)? Problems in the luuurve department (although, let's face it, not likely)? It's _that time_ of the month(maybe it would be better for me not to ask)?

Well then, I guess this is goodbye, my…uh…mind spirit ghostie.

Go haunt someone else, ok?

…bye….

……

You still there?

Go! It's not like I have anything else to say, right?

Right?

* * *

Step 1: put hand on contraption on your right. 

Step 2: move contraption to the bottom left hand corner of the mat it sits on. You will see a small white arrow on top of the purple button that has "go" imprinted on it

Step 3: take hand off contraption, and press the left hand clickable button. A small window should pop up. This is where you use the rectangle in front of you!

Step 3: press the appropriate letters that spell your name. Look up. They should miraculously be _on the computer_.

Step 4: place hand on the contraption on the right again, and move to the big white box. Press the left clickable button.

Step 5: use rectangle to record thoughts about story.

Step 6: bring white arrow down to the big purple button, and press down on left clickable button.

You are done! Bask in glory.


	9. Black, White and Grey

I haven't updated since April the tenth! Can't believe it, really. Time passes so quickly…

I'll be doing my A-levels next Christmas…how incredibly scary and petrifying is that?

Anyway, thanks go to:

**i**- well, if you insist on paying me…hehe! You should write a story, ok? I want to read it and be able to tell you that you do have talent. 

**Bunni Girl**- Ahh…the confusing web got more confusing! I have to clarify it to myself sometimes; it's been ages since I've come on You haven't written for ages, you know that? Write, woman, write! I miss looking out for your stories…

**Strawberry'd**- Kuri is the one and only creation of…me! So don't worry about it if you can't remember her, if you could, I'd be a bit worried. But, for your benefit:

**Le-petit-chou's guide to the D-Reaper!**

The D-Reaper was trying to destroy the world in its gigantic pink-blobularity. The tamers defeated it with a little help from their digimon, and the world was saved!

This story is set four years later, when Ruki is 14, and Ryo is 17. I intend to let romance take a backseat in my fanfic- there's enough o' the mushy stuff going around anyway…and no! There are indeed 2 Step 3s in chapter 8…oh well. I will repeat it, and you can bask in glory again. By the way, I looked at your art on deviantART, and it is very good.

**Ao-Senshi**- Ah…it feels good to be back. I enjoyed writing as Ryo- it allowed me to unleash my inner egomaniac, lol. You haven't written for ages, either! I have been reduced to re-reading everything again. It is actually quite disturbing…

* * *

I am so unbelievably bored…really.

The whole novelty of being dead has worn off completely. At first, I thought that it would be really…cool? Is that the word? You know, walking around, being invisible, spying on people? That was how I envisioned death.

Ok, I lied.

I was upset; it felt as if my world had been shattered into a million tiny pieces. It's not so good, being dead. It was so sudden as well- if anyone had told me that I would die by being shot by some random man with a gun at a train station last week (or was it the week before? I've lost track of time. Is there even time here?), then I wouldn't have believed them. I mean, would anyone?

But now…it's getting numbed, watered down. I can't feel sad about any of this anymore. When I think of my mother, and my grandmother, it doesn't make my eyes want to water anymore. I don't have to work to keep back the tears.

Which, by the way, I have. The tears, I mean. Just because I'm "strong"; that is, I have a backbone, doesn't mean that I am totally devoid of emotion. All those stupid tabloid newspapers, making me out to be some equally stupid icy robot are just as bad as those that pretend that I'm secretly nursing a bruised heart. I'm just like everybody else, just I hide it a little better, sometimes. And I did lose my life, that day; and everyone I cared about or had ever made an impact on me.

I'm still scared.

And I admit it, freely. Renamon isn't here to cushion my fall anymore, not that there is any physical fall; it's like flying, or swimming, or walking in grey air. Just…the grey seems to be seeping into my head.

Juri, once one of my closest friends, has faded away, like some cracked black and white photograph from a forgotten photo album. Even Jenrya, my official best friend, has started to lose his clarity around the edges. Kazu is just a braying laugh, framed by a black sweatband. I don't even remember what Kenta looks like.

The only thing left is Renamon. I want to bury my face in her nape, and feel her fur weep into my fingers again. I want her advice on how to get through this, I want _her_. But that's not going to happen, is it?

My mum always said to me that _I want never gets you anything_. I took that literally to mean that I would always have to do things myself, and take action. It was only a few years later that I realized that she only wanted me to say please and thank you. Come to think of it, I was quite a retarded child, really. But by the time I understood what she wanted, I was too far gone.

Not that it's a bad thing. I've always prided my self-sufficiency, above all else. Then, when I met Ryo, I found someone who'd been forced into independence; younger than I was, when he started.

I miss him, still. Which is quite surprising, really, considering that I don't even miss my actual life that much anymore. If I ever see him again (and I probably will, as soon as he…dies), I am never going to tell him that I missed him. His head will swell up, and he will be unable to walk through doorways again. Not that it's so much of a loss, here. But still, his ego is big enough already, the jackass.

Sometimes, I just want to slap him. Not in a serious way, of course. I can't ever be serious around him. He's just too comical sometimes! There's this stupid face he puts on, when he does his impression of our geography teacher. It looks nothing like him, but Ryo is just funny when he does that.

I wonder how everyone took the news of my death? They must know by now. I hope that mum's alright, and grandma, especially. And Renamon…and Ryo and Jenrya and Juri and Kazu and Kenta and Takato…It sounds horrible, but I hope that they're upset; I hope that they cried…because I can't stand the thought that they're all going to grow up without me, and get to experience everything that I will never experience. I want them to feel some of the sadness that I feel- I want them to feel the loss that I have, just a small bit of it…

But enough of the reminiscing.

I _want_ out.

Out!

"Ruki."

Kyoko. My clone. Except, she has absolutely none of my personality; that is, she has none. I'm telling you, it was like seeing my long-lost twin when she first appeared. For a split-second, I did actually believe it. Now, it doesn't give me such a thrill. Seeing as she just sits there like some big, fat, silent lemon.

At first, I thought she was my spirit, my soul, some gate-keeper to the _next world_. A spiritual guide, standing outside St. Peter's gates? But no such luck. She just said- what did she say? Something like, "Welcome to purgatory Ruki, now I am going to leave you stranded here in the middle of nowhere whilst I wander slowly off."

Along those lines.

Then again, maybe she can help me?

"Makino Ruki."

Get to the point! I hate people who beat around the bush.

"I hope that you are enjoying purgatory so far."

"…What?"

"I hope that you are enjoying purgatory so far."

_1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10._

I don't know what to say to that. I really, really don't.

"Listen, Kyoko. I- what are you?"

"I am Kyoko, and I am here to welcome you to purgatory."

Obviously I need to take a different approach. Maybe a subtle push in the right direction? An almost invisible remark that will nudge her towards revealing something about herself, about this place?

"Tell me how to get out of here."

Maybe not so subtle…

"There is no getting out of here. Purgatory is forever, Makino Ruki."

"I am not staying here for all eternity! I'll go crazy!"

She's- she's shrugging? "Maybe. Some do."

"Where are all the "others"? Well? There must be millions who died in the way that I- that I did- why isn't this place packed full of people?"

She's hesitating; I caught her out! Ha.

"There is no getting out of here. Purgatory is forever, Makino Ruki."

"You're not answering me! Where is everyone else? Where?"

There is no getting out of here. Purgatory is forever, Makino Ruki."

"Shut up, shut up! Stop saying the same thing over and over again!"

There is no getting out of here. Purgatory is forever, Makino Ruki."

I don't know what I'm doing; maybe it's the stress of being here for God knows how long or being dead…the train station is happening all over again and my vision is blurry and Oh God Oh God my head is Spinning and I feel Sick the world is shaking and I can't see a thing and I can't feel anything and My hands are Number than numb and I fall backwards and everything is black for a second- or is it a year? I can't tell anymore…

God help me. God help me.

Kyoko is dead. And her blood is on my hands and it's dripping down, forever falling into the grey abyss. A train is rushing through my head, roaring and pounding…what have I done? How can she be dead? Isn't she already dead? Aren't I dead? Dead? Dead, dead, dead.

She's disappearing now, I'm putting my hand on her, try CPR, something, anything…But my hand goes straight through her, and it plunges into something hard, something concrete, unlike what I have felt since I died. It seizes on it as it thins, becomes smaller and smaller until it's like a small thread, fragile and breakable.

Is everything fading away?

It's snapping in two, I can feel it disintegrating in my hand and in my head. A warm rush spills through me, and Kyoko herself has gone, and the blood is gone; was there any blood?- and I am left holding the string, falling apart, twisting apart, vanishing in my palm.

Images are flashing through my mind- I am the most handsome boy that ever lived My God I beat Ruki Makino! She's so Good Looking and I can't believe that I'm seeing her again I can't believe I'm seeing dad again he looks so old and worn and weary Detective Ryo Akiyama Look at Aina tonight she'd really something! You know I like it when girls wear short skirts Urggh it's Kazu secret stash of…Playboy? I've met Ai! She's so pretty…look at the body on her! Drinks? Why, yes please! Ugh…my head it hurts did I really have sex with Midori? Definitely not gay though. Just call me Crazy…Joe? Goodbye, mind spirit ghostie….

And the sudden whirl of colour finishes, and the thread hangs limp in my hand, and I look up to see Ryo standing there, looking as terrified and lost as I was when I died.

* * *

Don't forget the 3 Rs, kids! 


	10. Hello Ryo

**Strawberry'd**, well, no-one told me to do it, but I'm glad, 'cause it was good! Anyway, I'm going to develop the rrrrrromance slowly, methinks. I'm kind of looking forward to doing that bit- I know what the ending will be like (have it all planned in my head, hahaha).

**lxlriotgirlx**, thanks! Glad you like it, and I hope that you like the new chapter!

**Paula**, happy summer holidays! And also, happy weekend. Hope this (kind of) clears things up for you.

**anonymous,** personally, I spell it Ruki (the english version calls her Rika); but many other people do call her Rika. There is another character in this story, all my own!- who is called Riku. All a bit confusing,I know!

**Ao-Senshi**, hm...well, the confusingness will eventually get solved, but I'm afraidI'll have to keep you in the dark for a bit longer! I do, however, have avery nice _new_"le-petit-chou's recap session' coming at the end of this chapter! Lover-ly.

**Bunni Girl**, AHA! Someone who understands (a little bit) what's going on! Well, this chapter should really clear some things up (I have to say, the last chapter was a bit of a rush job).

Anyway, on with the story!

* * *

"Ryo-" She reached out to him, not entirely sure if it were true, that Ryo was there in front of her. The presence of an old friend filled her with a warm shade of rosy pink, and the grey dissipated slowly around her.

He, on the other hand, was feeling no such thing. Just a second ago, he'd- he'd been killed?- impossible! He was invincible. A blind rush of light and a sudden feeling of emptiness overtook him, and he was shivering, as if someone had dumped a bucket of icy-cold water all over him.

He looked up, and audibly gasped as he saw Riku- or was it Ruki? Standing in front of him, looking ruffled, and holding a small thread in his hands. A thread he felt inextricably linked to, for some reason or another.

"Riku?"

She was so happy to see someone, anyone, that she didn't even notice the name change. She smiled, and rushed forward, forgetting purgatory and forgetting death and everything that came with it…

"Wait. What's that in your hand?" Ryo spoke sharply, and his voice was on a high note of fear, knees trembling, hands shaking violently.

She spread out her palm, dumbly, and saw the small red thread that she had broken earlier. It had snapped in two, and was slowly unravelling in her hand, fraying at the edges.

"It's just a bit of string." Ruki shrugged. "Anyway, I can't believe-"

"Give it to me."

"What?"

"Give it to me."

He held out his hand, and she could see that his deep blue eyes were becoming blurry and distorted with tears. She gave it to him wordlessly- what could she say? He was dead, just like her.

"Riku…Ruki…" He clasped it tightly, and his voice became shaky. "Who broke this?"

He already knew the answer to his question.

"This was my life." He collapsed to the ground, uncontrollable small grey tears falling from his eyes. "You- you killed me."

The world came to a standstill, and Ruki could feel the blood rushing to her head, and a terrible pounding noise filled her ears.

She'd broken the string- the string inside Kyoko, when she'd killed Kyoko; could Kyoko be dead? How had she done that? The hollow feeling in the bottom of her stomach filled her completely now, and she could feel the horror of what she had just done finally register in her mind. The string; Ryo's life?

'_I hate the wind. I hate walking. Walking and wind don't go together. It keeps blowing my stupid scarf into my stupid- ok, not so much stupid as stunning- face.' _

_Ryo was walking down the street, hands in his coat pockets, huddling into himself to scare away the cold. He was undeniably attractive, with his hair windswept and ruffled, exuding a certain charm that no ordinary boy could ever really attain. _

_He still hadn't shed any light on the Riku thing. He'd mentioned the whole being chased by wild animals thing to her again, but she had just given him a blank look. _

'_Looks like Detective Akiyama has some work to do then.'_

_He'd already ruled out the 'family problems' theory. He'd seen Rumiko and Seiko just a second ago, with Riku there, and they hadn't been abusive or at odd ends to each other at all, and Riku hadn't acted strange around them at all. They were just an ordinary, loving family unit. Of course, he couldn't say anything about her father, because he hadn't seen the man, but Riku had had disagreements with him before, but it was always patched up quickly; Riku's dad had never really been the source of any angst at all._

_Renamon was fine, that he could vouch for. So no problems on the digimon front._

_He was pretty sure that Riku had no tribulations with the delicate subject of love. For a start, he couldn't imagine her being worried by such small things like dating, if she would ever really condescend to liking a guy at any level beyond physical attraction. Being a teenager, he was sure that she must've had crushes before- was crush the right word for it?- and there was no shortage of interest for the famous model's daughter. Especially one who saved the world. But Riku wasn't the sort to be eaten up by her imaginary infatuation with some guy._

_And his last theory- the PMS one- he didn't really want to ask. _

'_And the idea of digging through her rubbish to look for…ugh…her…yeah…not going to happen.'_

_A different approach had been clearly needed. _

_A brainwave had struck, about thirty minutes ago: could Jenrya possibly know? He was Riku's official best friend, and all. She told him pretty much everything. _

_Ryo sped up his walking, and practically ran through the apartment door, sheltering from the wind. He looked up, and sighed._

'_How many flights of stairs can there possibly be?'_

_He took two steps at a time as he raced up, and had a stitch by the time he reached his destination. He raised his hand to knock, but before he did so, Jenrya had opened the door._

'_Wow. Good timing.'_

"_Ryo? Why are you so out of breath?"_

_Ryo gestured towards the staircase._

_Jenrya laughed suddenly, a short, sharp burst. "Look behind you, Ryo."_

_The lift. He laughed alongside Jenrya. "I am such a dumbass sometimes."_

"_Uh, well, Ryo; I'm in a bit of a hurry at the moment. Could this wait?"_

"_I just need to ask you something."_

"_What?"_

_Ryo just looked at him, and the grey eyes that met his own seemed to understand._

"_Ruki?- Riku." Jenrya corrected himself hastily. _

'_So he does the same thing…'_

_Ryo nodded in acquiescence, and Jenrya surveyed him quietly._

"_I don't know. I honestly don't. I've- asked her about it before. There's something wrong, though. I just can't put my finger on it."_

"_Oh."_

"_I was just going to go and ask her…do a little bit of probing actually."_

_Ryo's face brightened. "We could work together! Perfect. A two-pronged attack. It'll be just like a battlefield."_

"_You have been playing one too many war games, Akiyama."_

_He laughed sheepishly, and scratched the back of his neck. "Anyway, so what d'you think? The two of us could uncover what's going on, right?"_

"_I'm not sure. It seems a little underhand, really. And if one of us does find out, wouldn't it be betraying her trust a bit to tell the other? I feel uncomfortable as it is, anyway."_

"_It's for the best, you know. We're her friends! She would want us to know."_

_Jenrya could see that it was a weak argument. Ryo could see that it was a weak argument. But even with the morally upright Jenrya, curiosity won, hands down. Any reservations were being thrown away, discarded, in the excitement of being in a detective story. The welcome disguise of it being of Riku's own good gave both of them the perfect excuse._

"_We-ll, I guess it _is_ for her own good." _

"_Exactly. Her own good."_

"_Exactly."_

_The two boys stood in silence, facing each other._

"_Done deal." Ryo looked thoughtful for a moment, then offered his hand to Jenrya._

_They shook on it, and Jenrya was the first to pull away. He was already beginning to have second thoughts about their 'deal'. Of all people, he felt that he should be the one to uphold the ethics side of things, especially with the ever rushing Ryo, caught in his own fantasies about himself._

"_I'll go and see Riku, then."_

_He brushed past Ryo, and entered the lift, waving a little as the doors closed, and laughed. Ryo had missed the lift, again._

'_For all his intelligence, it turns out he's just as scatterbrained as Kazu sometimes.'_

_He leant across the bars at the back, and hummed the lift tune to himself quietly. He'd always liked country music, although it was embarrassing to admit to even himself, him, the supposedly 'cultured' one- a completely untrue interpretation of himself._

_Akiyama Ryo was lying in front of Wong Jenrya's apartment, dead from a heart attack._

"I'm-" Sorry? How could _sorry_ even begin to touch upon the chasm that she'd opened, by killing one of her best friends?

_It's not my fault it's not my fault it's not._

Ryo had always been strong- she'd never seen him cry before, never. Except- when she broke the string, his whole life had flashed before her, a confusing jumble of thoughts and emotions and memories, in which she herself had even starred. It was as if she had had a glimpse of what it had meant to be Akiyama Ryo.

'_I am the most handsome boy that ever lived My God I beat Ruki Makino! She's so Good Looking and I can't believe that I'm seeing her again I can't believe I'm seeing dad again he looks so old and worn and weary Detective Ryo Akiyama Look at Aina tonight she'd really something! You know I like it when girls wear short skirts Urggh it's Kazu secret stash of…Playboy? I've met Ai! She's so pretty…look at the body on her! Drinks? Why, yes please! Ugh…my head it hurts did I really have sex with Midori? Definitely not gay though. Just call me Crazy…Joe? Goodbye, mind spirit ghostie…'_

There were so many memories and images- Ryo as a small boy, playing with his toys, stealing the Lego blocks from his nursery school class, getting lost in the Digital World. Meeting Ruki and Kazu and Kenta, meeting Takato, meeting Juri and Jenrya. Seeing his dad again…going back to school- all the shared memories of all his different girlfriends. She couldn't keep up, and, apart from a few outstanding ones, the thoughts were fading away quickly. Just-

"Who is Riku?" She asked softly.

He looked up. "You are."

Or was she? He remembered Ruki and Riku now. Where was the distinction? It was all blurry in his mind. "You're dead, Ruki."

"I know that!" She could feel herself coming close to tears. She shook her head, and whispered, "I've been dead for a while."

He tried to reply, but couldn't find the words. She sank slowly down to the ground, dazed. They were sitting next to each other, both looking ridiculously lost.

_I guess I've solved the mystery now, Detective Akiyama…that's what was wrong with her. She was dead all along. And now I am…_

She bit her lip to keep herself from crying, casting a look to the side to see the darker spots forming on Ryo's sweater. What was going on? She was dead…but Riku wasn't. What was the significance of Riku? How did Ryo die; what was the string doing in Kyoko anyway?

He felt Ruki's arms clasp him from behind and hang loosely across his chest, and he knelt, hands on the ground, eyes wide in shock. She clenched her eyes shut and they just sat there for what could have been seconds, or what could have been years, making no sounds, just the _drip drip dripping_ of Ryo's isolated tears.

* * *

**Ok, people, to recap:**

Le-petit-chou's summary of events!

1. Ruki is dead.

2. Ryo is dead.

3. Ruki has killed Ryo by snapping some kind of thread inside of Kyoko, after flying into a murderous rage that is completely out of character for her; she is usually calm. It is like what happened at the train station that fateful day.

4. Kyoko has been killed by Ruki…has she?

5. Ruki and Ryo have met up- Ruki is aware of Riku, through access to Ryo's memories when she snapped the thread, and Ryo has memories with both Ruki and Riku, but is too upset about his loss of life that he is currently incapacitated in the speaking department.

I have said Read, Review and Respire so many times that it should have become ingrained into your unconscious by now…


	11. Much Ado About String

Long time no see, eh? Just thought I'd return, see how it was going. I am struck by the writing bug again. Call it procrastination.

Firstly:

**common-lisp**, am in agreement about general rushedness of work. If you can call it work. Is that too big headed? Oh well. Will take on Wilde-like in self conscious knowledge of genius. Ha ha! Guess I was a bit sick of it by then, trying to speed it up too much. Will indeed slow down and plan more dans l'avenir, ey? And completely off-topic here, but I love CSI: New York. I love CSI altogether. A classic show, a classic show. Saw that you lived there in your profile. Not that I'm stalking or anything.

**who-wants-to-know?**, I do like my stories deep and meaningless. Ooh hoo hoo, I have a fan! You are now my favourite person, you know that?

**SalimaLiAkiyama**, why thank you! One of them may come back to life. Maybe. I don't know. Or, I do, but I'm trying not to give away the story. But I'll adopt you, ok?

**Ao-Senshi**, I agree. I wasn't ever going to include her father in this, he was just a vessel through which I'd kill her off. Because I'm like that! I'm kind of hoping it'll clear itself up, after having come back to it after so long, I had to look at it with new, fresh eyes. So maybe clearer now?

**Paula**, happy weekend, New Year, Lent, Christmas, etcetera. Glad you understand!

**CaliCallMePrincess**, sorry, the story is a tad convoluted. But after this, I want to do some lighter ones. If I do. And this will become clearer, I promise!

**digimanic-falkor 3**, respire is…where do I begin? Respiration is the generation of energy within the body to create ATP molecules which help carry out vital processes in the body. Aerobic is with oxygen more efficient, anaerobic is without less efficient. I can't go very in-depth though, sadly am taking only GCSE in biology, am dropping for A-Level. So that's the crux of my knowledge! And I may end the story with them dead, sorry! Or I might not. See me build up the suspense:)

**AzNAngeL07**, cheers hun! And, uh, now I have!

**Eric**, I like your name. Did you know that? God, what a lovely name. Well done on that. Congratulate your parents for me.

**>>**, glad you like it, I have updated, finally! Phew. It won't let me put the underscore in your name! Why? Why!

Thanks for all of the reviews, mes petits! Makes me feel loved. So, on with the chapter:

Word of warning- it's a bit rushed, despite being so late in coming. Soz.

* * *

It's so odd being dead. 

I don't know how long it's been since my highly embarrassing outburst there, in Ruki's arms. Not great for the whole masculine, strong attitude thing, eh?

I don't know how much time has passed here; it's a bit hard keeping track of the endless greyness. Plus, there is not _one_, not _one _reflective surface here. How am I supposed to check my face?

It has been a while, hasn't it, since I last spoke to you? And there I was, thinking that my madness had been banished forever. On the bright side, now I have at least one person to talk to. Ruki's been pretty much silent since she…for lack of better ways of putting it, killed me. You'd think I'd be angrier at her, wouldn't you? But I'm not. Funny how this place seems to suck all emotion out of you.

I am handling this revelation well. Apart from the breaking down and crying, that is. But who wouldn't, not when their young, short, handsome life had been so brutally ended?

Crap. I think I'm going to cry again.

Not that there's anyone to see me.

Stupid emotional stupid stupid stupid.

I thought I'd explore this place, you know. I'm going to find my way out if it, uh, kills me. Ha ha ha.

Ok, not funny. But I did my best.

I'm looking at this string again, the red one. Ruki gave it to me, after I'd finished snivelling into her chest. Was perhaps the best half an hour ever known to mankind, only I didn't realise as I was too busy mourning for myself. But shush.

I don't know what it is, but it is the only thing I have here, the one material thing, and, dear friend, as you know, I am deeply interested in material goods. Long live consumerism, say I! It's a bit drab, and a bit grubby. Frayed at the edges, where the colour is bright and vibrrrrant. A crimson blood red colour, if I were to describe it, which of course I just have.

Let's see. What have you missed, since we last talked? Quite a lot. Of course, there was my death. Then my incident with Ruki (see above). And now, pretty much nothing. I could kill for a nice frosty alcoholic beverage right about now. It gives me confidence, as I am a very introverted person by nature.

Hah!

Couldn't keep a straight face then. Sorry Mr. Ghost.

Or Mrs. Madame, Frauleïn.

Ryo is going international. Oh yes.

I'm back with the Ruki we all know and love. Not Riku, the latest version of Miss Makino. What is with all of these anagrams? Driving me crazy.

I've missed that combination of a constantly frowning face, knitted brows, the barely suppressed rage and psychopathic tendencies that is my Ruki Makino. Not that Riku was any different, because, well, they're the same person, aren't they? Only one's deceased. I wonder if there's a new Akiyama Ryo running around back in Japan? There'd better not be. I like it with no competition.

Male competition, that is.

"You were my competition."

"Eh?"

Whoops. Didn't mean to say that out loud.

How do I get myself out of this one?

"I- you were my competition."

Nice one, Ryo. Smooth like emery board.

She's looking a bit confused.

"What I meant to say was that I was the best. We were the best."

She's looking a bit contented now. "I was."

"Remember how I was a huge hit with all of the ladies? Sexiest teen in the world, I'll have you know."

"Not all ladies. You flatter yourself far too much."

"_It is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted. And I would find it in my heart that I had not a hard heart, for truly I love none_."

"_A dear happiness to women: they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than_ _a man swear he loves me."_

"I've been out-quoted it seems."

She smirks, and turns away. My God, it's going to be a long eternity here if she doesn't talk back.

"What were you going to do?"

"After school?"

"Yes."

I never really had any direction in life, really. I took life as it came. Money was no longer an object, as it happens. I had talk shows enough for all of that.

"I'd have probably gone on to university, if I could stand more learning. And then gone to some crappy job in middle-management. I always wanted to join Jenrya's dad in his lab and do more stuff with the digimon, if I had the chance. I'd go and visit Renamon, and we'd travel around, exploring everywhere."

We're going to miss out on so much. I can imagine my life stretching out before me, as I always used to do, a mass of unknowns.

"Would you get married?"

"I wouldn't ever get married, I'd hate that. Can you imagine me, Akiyama Ryo, married man? You'd probably put it on my gravestone."

"_Here lies Ryo, married till the end_."

"Gives me the heeby jeebies." Nah, I'd be an eternal bachelor. I guess I am now. No chance of marriage here, is there? Which is probably the only upside of being dead.

The drinks, the parties, the **girls**, the never-ending fun.

And adventure. A 'partner' would slow me down. Midori wouldn't have been able to, that's for sure.

"A woman conceived me, thank you to her. She brought me up. Thanks. But saddling myself down with one girl for the rest of my life? With a face like this?"

"A woman holding you back? I doubt it, Akiyama. You'd be the one struggling to keep up. Who wants you attached to them, like an overgrown, obese leech?"

"Are you calling me a leech?"

"I think I am."

"I am deeply shocked and offended."

"A lech, to be more specific."

"So I like humans of the female variety! We all do. Have you _met_ Kazu?"

"Yes, but what you shouldn't do is assume that these females like you back."

"Well. They do."

"Don't assume! It makes an ass out of-"

"Me and 'u'."

"Cleverly done."

I've missed these talks with her. It's great when someone can keep up and- dare I say it- match you when talking? How many people would be able to quote Beatrice straight back at me? That's what I love about her. Maybe not love, actually. Like.

Mildly fond of.

Well, ghostie. What do you think? Come up with any master plans to rid us of this infernal nothingness? Because you should have, by now.

Are you my guardian angel?

No? Well, it was worth a shot.

Back to the drawing board.

"Ryo?"

Ruki's bending over. Blame my raging teenage hormones, but would you look at the view?

Wait. Ugh. This is Ruki we are talking about. I will stop perving. I will.

In a minute.

"What's this?"

Woah. Just push it in front of my face, will you?

"It's a bit of string."

Yes, she's good-looking. But she's also crazy and violent and generally ball-breaking. Also over-reacting. It's a bit of string. Grey, mouldy string. Not like my red one.

"But what's it doing here?"

An interesting question. "Let me see."

Did you just see that? She's ignoring me!

"Ruki! Let me see!"

Yes, ok, a little whiny. But she's not giving it.

"What happens if I tug it?"

Do you feel that? A kind of sick, horrible feeling in your stomach? Like when I died. Running down from my oesophagus to my stomach to my duodenum…it's terrible.

I think I'm going to faint.

Help me!

It's glowing brighter now, brighter and brighter and brighter and blinding. There's a roaring sound filling my ears; can't you hear it?

"Ruki!"

And now silence?

And a third Ruki or Riku or whatever the hell her name is now?

What?

You're leaving?

But it's just getting interesting…

Well, your loss.

I'll fill you in later. When/ if you return. Buhbye now.

"Ruki. Who is this?"

* * *

You know how most Ruki/ Ryo fanfictions tend to be Romeo/Juliet-ish? The kind of never-ending, undying love story of angst etc? I love the play, but I do feel that Shakespeare's other _quality _plays deserve more tribute. This is why I dedicate Chapter 11 to Much Ado About Nothing. If someone else could please read it and see why Benedick and Beatrice remind so much of Ryo and Ruki it would make my year. I love it!

Also, sorry about the punny title. Sorry.

Long live the comedy; eternally better than tragedies and die-hard lovers.

I have GCSEs soon, how scary! Wish me luck, eh?

And also, have just come on and witnessed the demise of **Cloaked Fox**. The beloved reviewer of fiction. It's a shame. I'll miss you, **Cloaked Fox**. So this is also a dedication to them. Although the story has gone noticeably downhill for a while now, so maybe not the best of ideas.

Read, Rev., Resp. You know the drill.


	12. The Circle of Life, or, This is Hell

Hey guys. Couldn't choose between pithy titles, so went with both in the end. As you can see. In the style of many very good authors, so ha!

I started writing this story when I was 13. So much has changed since then- I'm 16 now, I've grown up and grown more cynical I guess. If you saw me in real life, I doubt you'd think that I wrote this. Could you pick me out from a crowd?

But I return to my geekish roots. And with pride, may I add?

Saddish, now, that my story is drawing to a close. I've been writing it on and off for the past 3 years. I ceased to take an interest in digimon quite some time ago, but I feel like I should finish it, having come so far. I promised myself at 13 that I would. And now we're on the penultimate chapter. Or maybe the penultimate penultimate chapter? I don't know.

Maybe I'll write some other stuff afterwards. The last chapter might not appear for another 2 years, who knows? Psh. I'm being self-important now. Who even actually cares about this bloody story???

Well:

**AzNAnGeL07**, this will hopefully mop up any problems you've had…? Haha, well, that's what I tried to do.

**SalimaLiAkiyama**, did you say "well good"??? Oh, my, god. You use my colloquialisms! Well, not strictly mine. That's well fantastic!

**karika88**, I guess I've pretty much joined those ranks, eh? Psh, there seems to be plenty around now anyway.

**CaliCallMePrincess**, oops. I keep meaning to update but I never do. :D Hope you're still alive anyway, it's been so long I expect everyone's dead. Much like my story. And, er, its main cast.

**Arcynic**, clever new name, huh? Kasheesh, everyone's grown up since I left. Ach, you're still the same I hope, part of the official grammar police! That I've, er, just made up. I'm going to take this chance to recommend her stories to anyone who hasn't yet. Writers of 3-paragraphed chapters, take notice. Though she rather sensibly stopped writing digimon stories aaaaaaaggggesssss ago.

**who wants to know?**, nah, I wasn't being sarcastic. I genuinely love it when people like reading what I write. Makes the hour or so I take for each chapter worth it, ja? I'd watch that weepy autobiographical movie by the way. I look forward to its release. Oh- and write something so's I can tell you that yes, you can write. Fooool.

D'you guys ever wonder what everyone here looks like in real life? And the proportion of male:female writers? Who's going to bet that it's about 1:99? If in a review you feel like describing yourselves that would be great. Just curious is all.

And we plod on, towards the end:

* * *

Ryo had never seen anything with that degree of hate in its eyes. He recoiled, moving away from Ruki as well. 

_Why must my life be so eventful? It's not even my life anyway, even in death this kind of thing happens. Why? Why?? I mean, it was kind of nice with the girls, not that I'd have had any problem attracting them anyway…without the fame. I haven't had a haircut in weeks. What time is it here? It doesn't seem to have grown anyway, still as styled and silky soft as ever-_

Ruki looked across at Ryo, opening her mouth to explain, but decided that this was a bad idea as he didn't seem to be upset at all. He was, in fact, feeling up his own hair and making a curious sound- _mmmmm_.

"Kyoko?" What do you say to someone you've killed?

_Ah. I already killed Ryo. My killing count is up to 2._

"You didn't kill me."

"Oh."

"You killed her too?" Ryo spat out, incredulous. "Are you on some kind of killing spree? Who is she anyway? Why does she look like you? Wh-"

The truth was, Ruki had no clue.

"Explain to me, Kyoko, explain why we look the same. Explain why Ryo here keeps calling my Riku by accident. Explain."

There had been much silence in the time, endless time that Ruki had been there. Even with Ryo's endless yapping. There had been a sad silence, when she'd first died. There'd been lonely silences when she was alone, hugging her knees in the great expanse of grey. There'd been a guilty silence when she'd killed Ryo. There'd been awkward silences after Ryo had appeared; she'd never been good at small talk.

But the silence here was roaring into her ears, pounding at her ear drums so that they'd burst and all of her thoughts and fears and, yes, frankly, she was afraid- and her brain matter would just spill out onto the ground with a big _schlop_ and she'd collapse and she'd wake up and this would all be a bizarre dream. Or nightmare.

"Explain to me now why purgatory is like this. Explain why I'm even here. I saved the world- we saved the world. Is that not enough to get me into heaven? I don't care that I'm atheist, agnostic, whatever. Isn't there some way to get there anyway? An exception to the rule? Explain why there aren't any other people here. Explain what's- what's happening to me. Explain to me why my emotions feel so- drained. Why I can't seem to feel anything anymore."

_I'm ceasing to be human._

Ruki felt Ryo shift from foot to foot. His eyes were downcast, and she knew that he was avoiding her eyes.

_Why, why isn't he more angry about me killing him?_

"You murdered me, Ruki."

"I know." _Oh God, murdered._

"But I'm not angry."

She faced herself away from him, bringing her nails up to her mouth, furiously picking and biting and chewing.

"Doesn't that strike you as strange?" He lifted up his head. "Well, everything here's strange. But still."

She was short of breath. Her thoughts and her brain, usually so keenly edged, were blunt and blurry now. How could she have murdered- murdered Ryo and then managed to chat to him so casually afterwards?

"Kyoko." Her voice was thickened by tears where there'd been none. "Kyoko, why?"

They stood, divided into three.

"My name is Kuri."

_Eh?_

_Eh?_

"Eh?" Ruki and Ryo chimed in unison.

"And I have no time for your pity parade. I've been here for an eternity watching you, you live my life."

_Lived her life?_

"You went on adventures, saved the world, made friends, argued with your mother, hugged your grandmother goodbye, had a digimon who you could call your partner, had a _cereal box character _made in your honour; did you know how good you had it? And all that time you were constantly whining, and bitching, and snapping. How dare you?" Kyoko- Kuri's voice dropped to a whisper dripping and oozing venom, "How dare you."

"And you met the love of my life. You stole it all from me. Snatched it from my grasp you greedy little bi-"

"What?" Ryo snapped back into reality. "What are you talking about, lady? Ruki's never stolen anything off of you."

He stole a glance at Ruki, ashen white and shaky. Her fingers were trembling and her pupils had dilated, all of the blood rushing around inside of her at the speed of river rapids, into her head, and into her ears, coming to a dead standstill as her heart pumped furiously, pushing against her lungs and her ribcage and her muscles and her tendons so that she felt like she would burst at the seams.

"She stole my life."

Kuri smiled, twisting her face so that it seemed less human than pure malignance personified.

"And now your turn is over too."

Kuri reached down to the ground and made a swooping action, and a great rip scarred the face of the grey. Hugging each other, Ruki and Ryo fell backwards as the blinding light once again filled their eyes.

And open.

With horror, Ruki looked into the gap, and saw- herself.

With horror, Ryo looked into the gap, and saw- himself.

Chatting and insulting and throwing barbs comments at each other.

"Who- who are they?"

Kuri laughed softly. "That, there, the pretty red-head, is Riku Makino, daughter of the famous supermodel. No wonder she's so pretty, with a mother that stunning. And over there, laughing and throwing back his head, full of life, is Riyo Akiyama, a good-looking boy if there ever was one. But he knows it, he really does. And there are all of their friends, going to the park again, Jenrya, Juri, Takato- the whole gang, really. Quite the charmed life they have."

"And you'll never be part of that again."

_I've got to hold onto Ryo, or I'll just have to puke right here._

For not the first time in her life, Ruki was glad to have Ryo there; she could feel his warm chest rising up and down, slowly and reassuringly. His hands were cold and clammy; hers, sweaty and shaking uncontrollably.

_Why are we even breathing? What's the point? We don't- need to anymore._

"I was born, Kuri Makino. Born and grew up, went through my parents' divorce, got double sets of presents at Christmas and birthdays, it was great. Didn't have that many friends, being as prickly as I was, making cutting remarks about everyone to their faces. I didn't care. Why should I? I was only- what?- 10. And then, guess what, kids?"

Kuri's face grew blacker and thunderous, and her fists clenched in a grip so tight that it tore at her skin.

"I died."

"I couldn't handle it. I couldn't handle it. I- I died in a digimon battle. Right at the beginning of my adventure, the best part of my miserable little pointless life. Then I came up here, and I watched. Watched as you took my place, a stupid little copy of me. Watched as you succeeded where I failed, didn't get eaten up by pink blobs, didn't get killed by the D-Reaper, didn't die. And then going home and seeing my- my mother, my grandmother, even my father. And my friends, and you lay on my bed, and you watched my television and you reaped _my _glory. A little spawn of myself."

"This couldn't go on now, could it? No. You had your turn in my perfect life. You could sit here for all eternity watching your double go on with your life and laugh and joke and pass your exams. You could sit and watch and get eaten up with hatred. You could have your life yanked away right from underneath you."

"You killed me?" Ruki interjected, incredulously. "You- you-"

Ryo held her back from jumping on Kuri, and Ruki didn't put up any resistance. She simply stood, with her teeth grinding against each other, rage coming out of every pore.

"So that's why she was attacked all the time." Less of a question, more of a statement. Ryo's voice had dropped to a monotone.

"It wasn't a coincidence, Akiyama."

"I sat and I fed on my rage. Nothing can dull that. The people who come here- the reason that there are none of them around- they walk and the cry and they beat their fists against the grey, and then they give up. They let the grey eat into them as their emotions get dulled and they cease to be. They disintegrate into the horizon. But nothing could stop me. I knew what I wanted and I never became one of them."

"And now I'm going to leave you, I'm going to leave you to stare at your lost life forever and ever and ever until everyday you cry out all of your tears. You can watch them fade into the grey. It took a while to get you, you were a wily little bitch, but even you couldn't escape the fate I had planned for you."

Ruki lunged at Kuri, hands around her neck, vaguely aware of Ryo screaming obscenities at her double. Or was it her triple? A rage filled her that she'd never felt before.

_I won't I won't I won't I won't I won't…_

Already she was in hell.

"How could you? How could you? How could you condemn me to this, how could you?"

Tears blurred her always tearless eyes, and they dripped off of her nose, making damp spots on her clothes and on the ground. She was crying freely now, now that there was no point in stopping. No-one would see her again, no-one. Her life would continue on without her, everyone oblivious to what had happened, to who she was. She'd not made a single dot on the map, all of those times she'd thought herself to be important, saviour of the world.

It'd turned out that she was just as replaceable as the rest.

Ryo felt cold, and hot, and cold, and hot.

_I always thought that hell was hot and fiery and full of endless pain. But now I realise- hell isn't blackness and rocks and lava and a devil with devil's horns and cloven hoofs. It's this. Endless nothing, forever…_

Kuri gave out a shrill cry of triumph as Ruki tackled her to the ground and reached inside of her and grabbed at nothing. There was a terrible crunch as Kuri's exoskeleton was broken, exposing only air inside.

"I- I'll make you pay, I swear to God I will…"

Ruki reached inside her pocket and drew out the string that had been entwined with Ryo's not so long before.

And she tore it with her teeth, with a savagery that made the cold and reserved Digimon Queen look like an Amazon.

Kuri's look of triumph turned into shock. The last thing she ever saw as she, too, disintegrated into the grey was Ruki's haggard face, run down with tears and blood. And Ryo's, distraught and full of worry and fear.

And once again, the silence was back.

And a shimmering light filled the void.

* * *

Happy or sad ending? Or bittersweet? It remains to be seen. In a bit of a conundrum. Please do comment, peeps. 

Read, Review, Respire kiddos! Oh, how long has it been since I last wrote that? Feels good. And it'll feel even better when/ if I get some kind of response from you lot. Hurry!

Haha, loves.


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